Finding Herself
by GleefullGleek77
Summary: Rachel escapes Lima for the summer to her aunt's house. Once there, her life is changed in more ways than she could've ever thought. Life goes on beyond summer though. She will be a star. That is for sure. Rachel/OC, Puckleberry
1. Chapter 1

Wild Horses

Rachel shut the door behind her, clutching her change of clothes that Mr. Shue had given her to her chest. She numbly dropped them and washed her hair out in the sink, then changed. She looked in the mirror and took a deep breath. Why? She didn't understand. She'd gone to the school office to copy some sheet music for Mr. Shuester and had met up with Azimio and his buddies post-practice. Finn had barely batted an eyelash when he saw her walk in the choir room after the attack.

Dating Finn had done nothing for her popularity. Also, winning twelfth place at Nationals two and a half weeks ago apparently wasn't that great in other kids' eyes. Rachel slipped on her skinny jeans that she'd worn for the One number. She hadn't been prepared for this many slushies.

It seemed as if every member of the student body had decided that Rachel Berry was truly and without a doubt, the reigning loser of the school. She'd been getting slushies four or five times a day. She was constantly tripped in the halls. After the third day of having her salad thrown at her, she'd simply stopped eating lunch, sitting just outside the outdoor eating area, under a tree with her iPod blaring in her ears.

She closed her eyes and gripped the edge of the sink till her knuckles were white. She was shaking slightly. She looked up and looked at her face. It was white. She stepped back, examining her body. It hadn't been that long, but she could tell that she was beginning to lose weight. Her fathers, being the owners of a nationally ranked law firm, were always on their iPads at dinner, discussing, cases, while Rachel sat there moving food around her plate. They had asked why she had been so quiet. She simply said she was tired. They accepted this, thinking that once summer started in a week, she could catch up on her sleep.

Rachel examined the scars on her body. She hadn't cut herself. She wouldn't do that. Rachel had been so upset at times that she would simply press her fingernails in; on her legs, and arms. She'd started doing this and she wanted to stop. Sometimes she didn't even realize she was doing it. After a while she'd finally feel it and stop.

Rachel pulled the light blue button-down over her head. She let her wet hair trail down her back. She took a deep breath and walked back to glee.

She walked in to the usual chaos of Glee. Mr. Shuester had told them to simply talk and have fun. Britney, Santana, Mike and Puck were dancing in the corner. Kurt, Mercedes, Quinn, Tina, and Lauren were loudly gossiping. Sam was quietly strumming his guitar with the leader of the band. Finn and Mr. Shuester were talking together. Rachel sighed and did what she did most of the time these days. She walked over and put her iPod on. She let the music wash over her.

Lately she'd been branching out of her usual music choices. She'd been following lots of music blogs. The only escape from the everyday terribleness was music. She spent all her time performing in the dance studio in her basement. She'd been sending videos to colleges and music schools all over the country. She felt her best when she performed. Now, she didn't mind much if there was an audience or not. Just that she could perform.

Finn would occasionally go through the motions and she would too. It had come to the point where she wasn't even stopping him when he tried to go farther. It felt good to feel. She didn't know why she'd agreed to Finn.

She sighed. She felt sick to her stomach; even though she hadn't eaten anything since the apple she'd eaten that morning.

She took a deep breath and braced herself as Mr. Shuester dismissed them. She walked out and Finn fell into step beside her. She let the awkward silence hang in the air as she tried to gather her thoughts together.

"Finn?" she asked as they entered the parking lot. It was misting outside. He turned, looking kind of annoyed at her silence.

"Yeah?" he said, hands in pockets.

"Look. I…" she looked down and took a breath, "I think that we need to…stop and… be apart," she said finally, looking up at him.

"What?" he said, incredulous, "After everything I did for you? Wow, I knew you could be difficult. But really, Rachel?" He took a breath, clenching his fists, "You think you know what you want, and you think Broadway's actually going to have you? Well we went to Nationals and LOST! The same things going to happen to you," Finn said, getting close to her. She backed away from him, and he continued forward.

* * *

><p>Rachel locked the door behind her as she walked into her house. She wiped the tears off her face. Her dads weren't home yet. She closed her eyes and thought about what had just happened.<p>

Finn had gone off. He'd yelled so many bad things at her, all the while advancing on her. About how she was going to fail, that she was such a loser and should be happy to have him, that she was ugly and not even worth it. The rest of the club had walked out on it. Puck and Mike had run up, stepping in front of Finn. Kurt came up to try to comfort her. Tears had been pouring down her face. She backed up. She looked at Finn's face, which was stony and cold. She'd turned and ran to her car, pulling out as fast as she could.

Rachel ran up to her room. She took out her buzzing phone and shut it off. She didn't want to talk to anybody. She fell to the floor and cried. She wrapped her arms around her knees. All of the sudden she heard her door open and looked up. It was her fathers.

Their eyes widened in shock to see her in such a state. Then they ran in and hugged her. Rachel felt herself shut down. She did not want to explain this to anybody. Her fathers, being exceptionally smart men and used to people shutting down in shock from their cases, looked at each other over Rachel's head. One picked her up, and the other pulled her covers back. They slid her into bed softly. One ran downstairs to bring her a glass of water. The other put her "Comforting" playlist on. As Everybody Hurts by R.E.M. came on, tears fell softly from Rachel's eyes. Her dads sat on either side of her. Rachel let herself be held.

* * *

><p>An hour later, Rachel's dads walked out of Rachel's room. She'd fallen into a fitful sleep. They'd left her music on. One picked up a telephone and dialed.<p>

"Lisa!"

"Leroy? What a surprise! Wait, no its not. Can Rachel come this summer?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about, Lisa. Rachel's having a tough time in school. She's been very unhappy. I don't want her to have to leave, but I have a feeling that she needs to get away from Lima. I feel terrible not having noticed any of this. So, if you want, can she come stay with you in Florida for the summer?"

"Of course! I'm so excited! I haven't seen her in forever," Lisa exclaimed. She was Rachel's aunt and she rarely had a chance to see Rachel. Leroy cleaned up details with Lisa and hung up. Then he went to his husband and they talked.

* * *

><p>Rachel opened her eyes the next morning. She got up and went to brush her teeth. Her eyes were red and disgusting. She washed her face. She walked downstairs. Her fathers were sitting at the table. They looked up at her.<p>

"Hey, sweetie. Have a seat," Leroy said gently. She did.

"We called into the school. You don't have to go today, or tomorrow for that matter, since it's the last day of school. We called your Aunt Lisa and she asked if you would want to stay with her in Florida?" Hiram said.

Rachel looked between the two. The two fathers saw her eyes light up a little bit.

She smiled softly and nodded. Both fathers stood up and kissed her forehead and got up to go to work. Rachel sat for a second, thinking. She walked down to her basement. She plugged in her iPod and went to her huge instrumental playlist.

She danced for three hours. She stopped, out of breath. She felt slightly better. She blocked out thoughts of what had happened yesterday. She jumped in the shower.

She went upstairs and looked out the window, since it was sunny; she figured she should get outside. She grabbed a big picnic blanket, a couple books, her iPod, a lunch box with her lunch and put all the stuff in a big tote and the blanket under her arm. She walked across the street into the park that she'd been coming to since she was little. She made her way through the park. It was near empty. She found the little secret place that was hers. She spread the blanket out and sat down. She pulled out a book and a banana from her bag and stretched out. After a while she stopped reading and put her headphones in. Soon she fell asleep, with the sun warming her eyelids, feeling peaceful for once.

* * *

><p>The day finished and when her fathers came home, they found that Rachel looked somewhat better. The next day passed much the same as the first. Rachel hadn't checked her phone and didn't want to. As far as she was concerned she wouldn't see those people until next school year.<p>

* * *

><p>Rachel waved goodbye to her dads as she boarded her plane. She found her seat. As soon as the plane took off, she fell asleep, head against the window. She was excited about Flordia. She hadn't seen her aunt in years. She knew her aunt was what her fathers called "a free spirit". She owned a small boutique and also owned a magazine. She also painted in her free time. Rachel thought of the best part. Aunt Lisa lived in a beach house. The beach was her backyard.<p>

Rachel sleepily opened her eyes as the plane began descending. She got out and saw her Aunt. She smiled. Lisa was holding up a painted canvas picture of Rachel. The people around her were smiling. That was Lisa. She was very likeable. She was petite, like Rachel. Lisa was the baby of her family and was thirty-two. She had short, choppy, dark brown hair like Rachel's. She had pretty green eyes that sparkled. She wore a dark blue tunic with pretty fringed brown sandals. Rachel ran as fast as she could with her suitcase to her aunt, who enveloped her niece in a hug. She and Rachel slowly walked to Lisa's old, but still cool, convertible. The two were talking as fast as they could.

As they pulled up to Lisa's house, Rachel grinned. Lisa's house was so pretty and quaint. It was light blue, and had tons of flowers planted out front. It had a big porch.

"What do you think?" Lisa said, getting out of the car.

"It's wonderful," Rachel said. Lisa smiled at Rachel. She had great people skills and could tell that Rachel was hurting still. She resolved to make this summer Rachel's best ever.

Rachel and Lisa walked inside. Rachel loved it all. It was open and airy. She asked Lisa if the paintings on the wall were hers. Lisa nodded. Rachel smiled and went to her room. It was small, but cozy. She laughed as a pretty dark red golden retriever came in her room.

"That's Sonny!" Lisa yelled from the other room. Rachel laughed and petted the dog, who immediately started licking her hand with a soft tongue. Lisa came in and laughed.

"Stop it you silly puppy," Lisa said happily, "He'll lick you to death if you let him."

She looked up at Rachel.

"I was thinking we'd go down to Regis' restaurant for dinner," Lisa said. Rachel nodded. Lisa looked at her slyly.

"Can I pick what you wear?" she asked. She had seen pictures of Rachel and had always grudgingly allowed the animal sweaters. Rachel smiled and nodded. Lisa's face lit up and ran to her room. She came back. She put Rachel in a pretty white lace mini dress. Then she put an oversize faded jean jacket on top. Then she gave Rachel black velvet wedge booties. Rachel's hair fell down her back in messy waves. She French braided her bangs back. Lisa nodded. She sat down on Rachel's bed and looked at her niece.

"I think that you need to turn your phone back on, sweetheart," Lisa said quietly. Rachel sighed. She looked up at her aunt. Green eyes met brown and Rachel understood that her aunt wouldn't feed her until she got her phone out and returned some phone calls.

Lisa stood up, dropped a kiss on Rachel's cheek and walked out. Rachel closed her eyes and breathed deeply.

She opened her bag and pulled her new iPhone out. She checked her phone. Thirty two missed calls. Fourty eight texts. She sighed and listened to her voicemail. People really were worried. She felt a tear fall down her cheek. She decided to do this via text, since she wasn't sure if she could talk.

**Rachel: Hey…**

**Kurt: Rachel! How ru? Ru alrite? Y hvnt u been in skool?**

**Rachel: My dads called in for me. I'm in Florida at my aunts.**

**Kurt: Hmmm.. that's unxpcted. Well ru alrite?**

**Rachel: been worse**

**Kurt: well…alrite… txt me if u wanna talk later**

**Rachel: thx kurt **

Rachel smiled. She moved on.

**Rachel: Hi**

**Mercedes: Rachel! Sweet jesus where ru? Y'd u miss skool? Ru ok?**

**Rachel: I'm in Florida with my aunt.**

**Mercedes: Seriously? Hmm.. I guess that's good… Ru cool? Finn said some pretty bad things…**

**Rachel: I'll survive**

**Mercedes: Well alrite. Txt me l8er if u want sum1 to vent 2 **

**Rachel: sounds good.**

**Rachel: Um… hi Puck**

**Puck: Oh god, ru ok? U didn't look so good wen u ran off **

Rachel sighed, she was tired of giving this answer

**Rachel: I'm alright. Im in florida with my aunt**

**Puck: cool I guess. Oh and if I were u I wouldn't check my facebook…**

**Rachel: y?**

**Puck: it aint pretty**

**Rachel: how many kids said bad stuff, puck?**

**Puck: …a lot **

**Rachel: just what I needed… thanx 4 the update**

**Puck: sure… txt me if u need sumthin**

Rachel smiled a little. Puck had become her friend recently after the whole, nose-job debacle. He had sent her most of the texts. She continued on to all the other Glee members who'd called or texted her. Much the same conversations happened. Lisa poked her head in, took in the tears on Rachel's face and walked over and hugged her. She grabbed a tissue and dabbed Rachel's eyes. She grabbed Rachel's two walked outside and got in the car.

* * *

><p>Driving through the town, Rachel's mood improved slightly. It was a tiny town. It was the type of town where everybody knew each other. As they parked Rachel felt her phone buzz. It was a forward from Kurt that Blaine had sent him. "Courage". Rachel smiled and slipped her phone into the side pocket of the door. She walked into the restaurant with Lisa. Lots of people said hello to Lisa. Lisa introduced Rachel to all of them. She put on a smile for everybody. Rachel sat down across from Lisa. As their waiter came to take their drink orders, Lisa stood and whispered in his ear. He smiled and nodded, walking off. Rachel looked at her aunt with a raised eyebrow and Lisa shrugged and smiled. Their meal went well. It seemed that this place was the "it place" of the town. As they had coffee after they ate, a man came up onto a makeshift stage. Rachel watched as he announced some people playing. Some were actually pretty good. Then Regis came onstage.<p>

"Alright alright. Settle down. Tonight we have a new volunteer for open mike. She happens to be the niece of our wonderful Lisa Berry. We were hoping she'd slow things down a bit. Everybody put your hands together for Rachel Berry!" Eyes looked their way. Lisa smiled innocently, causing the whole place to laugh. She held out her hand and Rachel rolled out her eyes. She handed Lisa her jacket. Lisa smiled at her and whispered the song in her ear. Rachel's eyes widened. She hadn't sung that song since she was a little girl. She walked up to the stage. She grabbed the mike. She nodded to the guitar player and he began. She took a breath and began to sing.

_Childhood living is easy to do  
>the things you wanted I bought them for you<br>_

Rachel closed her eyes and truly felt the song that had been her favorite song as a child.

_Graceless lady you know who I am  
>You know I can't let you slide through my hands<br>_

She opened her eyes. The lights that shined on her made her seem almost otherworldly to the audience.

_Wild horses couldn't drag me away  
>Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away<br>I watched you suffer a dull aching pain  
>Now you decided to show me the same<br>_

She shook her head, eyes shut tight.

_No sweeping exits or offstage lines  
>Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind<br>_

She opened her eyes and looked up at the ceiling, tears sparkling in her eyes.

_Wild horses couldn't drag me away  
>Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away<br>_

_I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie  
>I have my freedom but I don't have much time<br>Faith has been broken, tears must be cried  
>Let's do some living after we die<br>_

She looked out and saw her aunt who also had tears on her cheeks. Lots of other people did as well. They had never heard anything so beautiful and raw.

_Wild horses couldn't drag me away  
>Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day<br>Wild horses couldn't drag me away  
>Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day<br>_

The crowd burst into cheers. Lisa pressed the stop button on her camcorder. That was definitely going to be sent out. Rachel dipped her head with a smile. She wiped her eyes and made her way over to her aunt. Lisa jumped up and wrapped her arms around her niece.

* * *

><p><strong>This story has been in the back of my head for a while and I want to try it! REVIEW please! <strong>

**Song- Wild Horses- the Rolling Stones**

**ps. follow me on twitter: Swheeley96 **


	2. Living Each Day to the Fullest

**I'm really hope that you like the direction I'm going in with this chapter, so tell me what you think ;) **

* * *

><p>Living Each Day to the Fullest<p>

Rachel and Lisa's table was surrounded by people coming up to talk and meet Rachel. Rachel could barely keep track of people.

"Hello Caitlyn," Lisa said with a smile. Rachel turned. A tall girl stood there. She had short blond hair.

"Hi Lisa," Caitlyn said. Lisa motioned for the girl to sit at their table. She complied and turned her attention to Rachel. "It's nice to finally meet you. I take art lessons from Lisa and she always talks about you." Rachel smiled back. Caitlyn had pretty bright green eyes. She wore a light grey cotton dress, with a blue bikini underneath.

"Well, I hope she says good stuff," Rachel said, turning to Aunt Lisa who looked back innocently.

"Of course she does. Anyway, I came over to ask if you'd like to come to a beach bonfire party. Some friends and I are heading down after this," Caitlyn said hopefully. Rachel thought for a second.

"I'd love to," Rachel said. She glanced at Lisa who nodded.

Caitlyn smiled warmly at Rachel. Rachel smiled back shyly.

"If you want I can drive you by your house to pick up your swimsuit," Caitlyn said. Rachel nodded.

"Go on you two," Lisa said. Rachel said goodbye and followed Caitlyn out. She had a dark green Jeep that was open to the air.

The two talked all the way to Lisa's house. Rachel learned about Caitlyn. Caitlyn was an artist. She loved to paint and make pottery. She'd lived in Trent, Florida all her life. Her dad was a lawyer and her mother worked in the hospital. She was very close with them. Rachel found herself drawn to everything Caitlyn said. She seemed to exude life and happiness.

When they got to the door, Caitlyn reached on top of the door frame and got the key. She unlocked it and replaced the key. She walked in with Rachel following.

"Go ahead and change," She said with a smile. Rachel all but ran upstairs. She got into her room. She shut the door and then leaned against it with a sigh.

What was with her? She couldn't deny that she liked Caitlyn just a little bit more than what one would think. But she was straight. She took a deep breath and let it out. She told herself to calm down. This summer was about being free of Lima and all of its boundaries. If that meant… going outside of her comfort zone, then so be it.

She slipped on her dark purple bikini. On top she put on her sheer light blue romper. She slid on her flip flops. She made her way downstairs. She stopped when she heard Caitlyn on the phone.

"Yes, we're coming. Lisa was right, she is so freaking talented," Caitlyn said. She listened for a moment, "Emma, no. The girl just met me," She listened more, "Of course she's gorgeous. But as far as I know she's as straight as a ruler. I'm not going to push myself at her. I. Just. Met. Her. Anyways, I don't' have enough time, you know that," She listened more, as Rachel listened, blushing. "Look. Just because I've been single for two years doesn't mean that when a perfect girl comes by I'm gonna be all over her," Caitlyn said, "Anyway, I gotta go, I'll see you soon. Don't let Jackson eat all of the s'mores," Caitlyn said, hanging up.

Rachel took a deep breath. She back tracked up the stairs and opened and closed her door loudly. She made her way downstairs, arranging her features in a smile.

"Ready?" She said cheerily. Caitlyn smiled and nodded. They two went back out to the Jeep. Caitlyn explained that the car had belonged to her older brother, but now he was in college. They talked as they made their way down the beach. Rachel felt somehow relaxed, despite the fact that her mind was still racing from what she'd heard.

Caitlyn parked the car and they walked out to where a big bonfire was roaring. It was about seven thirty and was just starting to get dark. There were about fifteen kids there. Some were playing in the water.

"Hey guys! This is Rachel," Caitlyn said to the group. They all smiled. Rachel recognized some of them from the restaurant. Rachel walked up and began her night.

That night was a blast for Rachel. All of Caitlyn's friends were very nice. Caitlyn remained by her side for most of the night. Rachel was still a bit confused. But several times she "accidentally" bumped into Caitlyn. Rachel, out of the corner of her eye, saw Caitlyn smile, and one time, blush.

Later Rachel asked Caitlyn if she wanted to get in the ocean to cool off. Caitlyn smiled and nodded. She told Rachel to go ahead and in a second she'd join her. Rachel stood and pulled off her romper and turned to Caitlyn who had done the same. Caitlyn had a beautiful body. Rachel turned away; glad it was dark enough that nobody could see her blush. Rachel made her way to the ocean, excited to go swimming in it for the first time, it felt so good.

Back up on the beach, everybody turned to Caitlyn, once Rachel was gone, each with raised eyebrows.

"Shut up," she said rolling her eyes. Emma sidled up to Caitlyn, a smile on her lips.

" You feeling okay?" Caitlyn nodded, not worried about **that** at the moment. "You seemed to be very interested in her taking her cover-up off," Emma said. Caitlyn rolled her eyes.

"Hot," Jackson said from by the fire, and his friends nodded.

Caitlyn sighed and walked off to join Rachel, who looked so happy.

"Hey," she said, coming into the water with Rachel.

"This is so great," Rachel said.

"When was the last time you came to the beach?" Caitlyn asked with a smile.

"When I was twelve. I loved it then and I love it now," Rachel said happily. She playfully splashed Caitlyn, who splashed back.

* * *

><p>From the beach, Caitlyn's friends watched the two in the water.<p>

"It's about time," Adam, Jackson's friend said.

"Agreed," Jackson said. Emma walked over to them. Emma was a petite redhead who had light brown eyes.

"Guys, look how happy Caitlyn looks. Those two have to get together. So let's make sure they do," Emma said excitedly.

"Em, you shouldn't meddle," Jackson said. Emma and Jackson were dating.

"I don't think she'll have to. I mean look at them," Adam said, gesturing to the girls in the water, who were laughing hard.

"Guys, we **need** to meddle. Caitlyn needs all the happiness she can get right now. We need to make the best of circumstances," Emma said, hands on hips, leaving no room for argument. After a moment her expression softened and a tear fell down her cheek. Jackson stood and wrapped his arms around Emma.

"We will," he said.

"How do we tell Rachel?" Emma asked.

"I'm not sure. But we need to," Jackson said, rubbing Emma's back comfortingly.

* * *

><p>Caitlyn offered to give Rachel a ride home, Rachel accepted, though she probably could have walked. They pulled up to the house and Caitlyn shut off the car.<p>

"I'll come to say hi to Lisa," Caitlyn said. The two girls walked in. Lisa rushed up, hugging them both hello. She wore a smock and had red paint on her forehead. She asked about the night and they talked for a while. Soon Caitlyn said goodbye. Rachel walked her to the door; she stepped out on the porch.

"Thanks for the great night," Rachel said. Caitlyn smiled tiredly and nodded. She turned to go. Rachel thought for a moment.

"Caitlyn?" she called, Caitlyn turned from the top step off the porch. Rachel walked quickly to Caitlyn. After a second looking in Caitlyn's green eyes, Rachel pressed her lips softly to Caitlyn's lips. Caitlyn was still from shock for a moment. Then she closed her eyes and kissed back. Rachel couldn't describe the feeling, it was so amazing. She put her hand on Caitlyn's cheek and tilted her head to get closer. After a minute, she pulled back touching her forehead to Caitlyn's. She smiled.

Caitlyn smiled back and took a step down.

"Thanks for the great night," Rachel repeated. She looked at Caitlyn one last time and then turned to go inside. Caitlyn dazedly walked to her car, not believing what had just happened.

Rachel walked inside and found Lisa in the kitchen, pouring two glasses of iced tea. She turned with crossed arms. She raised an eyebrow, with a slight smile on her face. She grabbed the glasses and walked out front, Sonny following, The two sat on the porch swing, rocking and sipping their iced tea. Rachel eyes were drawn to the top step, remembering.

"Anything you'd like to tell me?" Lisa said playfully.

"Um…," Rachel said.

"Wow, Rachel Berry is speechless," Lisa said.

"I guess I um… took a liking to Caitlyn," Rachel said.

"I'll say," Lisa said.

"You weren't watching, were you?"

"No. But when you guys came in to talk, I could tell by the way you guys looked at each other. Also when you came in just now, you looked all flustered," Lisa said with a smile. Rachel laughed. She told her aunt everything that had happened that night. Soon the two went up to bed.

Lisa walked into her room, sighing. It was great that Rachel had found some happiness. But she knew it was to be short lived. She needed to talk to Caitlyn about this.

Rachel pulled off her swimsuit and slipped on a long and loose dark grey tank top, then she pulled on her black leggings. She put her hair in a messy bun on top of her head. She was so keyed up. She pulled out her laptop and cautiously opened her Facebook. She knew that she needed to face it.

She saw all of the posts on her wall. She sighed. She blinked back her tears. She was going to hold on to her good mood. She thought for a second. After a moment she made up her mind. She deleted the account. She was done with the old Rachel; the Rachel who cared what those people thought.

She shut off her laptop, and put it on her nightstand. Her phone buzzed from across the room. She got up to get it.

**345-6287: Hey, its Caitlyn. Lisa txted me ur #**

Rachel saved the number and replied.

**Rachel: thts good. So watsup?**

**Caitlyn: …would it freak u out if I said I was thinkin bout u?**

**Rachel: no, would it freak u out if I said I was thinkin bout u?**

**Caitlyn: not at all :) **

**Rachel: good. Will I cu 2mro?**

**Caitlyn: Prolly, I have a lesson with lisa**

**Rachel: cool, ill cu then**

**Caitlyn: Alright. Im so sleepy, good night, sleep tight**

**Rachel: Night**

Rachel put down her phone. Who would have thought? She picked her phone up again.

**Rachel: Hey**

**Kurt: Hi! how ru?**

**Rachel: Amazing!**

**Kurt: Dang. Y?**

**Rachel: I met somebody :)**

**Kurt: Oooh! Details pleeez **

**Rachel: Ummm... call me **

A second later he did.

"So? What's the deal?" "I met somebody. And I like them so much its scary. And I'm kind of confused and we kissed..." "Woah! Thats great! But why are you confused?" "because... its a girl" Kurt was silent for a moment. "Well... thats... new" "I know. I just feel so great with her and she's so amazing. I know that sounds super cliche, but its true." "I guess all i can say then is that you should just go with it. It's summer." Rachel laughed "Thanks Kurt" "If you wanna talk then text me alright? I have to go, Finn needs help with laundry. I swear, he can't do anything" "Ok. Thanks Kurt" Rachel said. She hung up and smiled.

She got under the covers and smiled. All of the sudden a huge thing got on the bed. She laughed when she realized it was Sonny. Lisa poked her head in and laughed as the dog curled up at the end of the bed.

"Sorry, he usually sleeps in here."

"Um, it's alright. I just have to restart my heart," Rachel said with a slightly breathless laugh. Lisa laughed, told Rachel to sleep well, and went into her room. Rachel snuggled into her covers, glad this was a fairly large bed. She fell asleep fast, looking forward to the next day.

* * *

><p>Rachel opened her eyes to sunlight streaming in her window. She sat up and yawned. The previous day came into her head. She closed her eyes and thought how fast things had changed.<p>

She didn't feel sad. She felt good. She felt… like she wanted coffee. She made her way downstairs. She walked into the kitchen. She was surprised to find Caitlyn and Lisa already awake and talking in the kitchen, eating yogurt with fresh strawberries and blueberries.

* * *

><p>Caitlyn had come over at her usual time, early, to have breakfast with Lisa and then start her lesson. She was excited to see Rachel again. That girl had been all she could think about for the whole night. She walked in the house. She found Lisa in the kitchen, cleaning blueberries. As soon as Lisa saw her, she asked details about the previous night. Caitlyn happily told Lisa, who was like a second mother to her.<p>

"Caitlyn? You have to tell Rachel," Lisa said eventually. Caitlyn sighed.

"I know. I don't know how. Do you think I can wait? Just a little bit?" Caitlyn asked hopefully.

"She'd want to know," Lisa said disapprovingly.

"You're right. I'll tell her," Caitlyn said after a moment.

"How do you feel?" Lisa asked.

"Ever since they took me off the chemo, I've actually felt better," Caitlyn said with a smile.

"That's great. I know you don't want to hear this but, you shouldn't strain yourself," Lisa said.

"Look. The doctors said I had about two months. I want to live. I don't want to be careful and not living each day to the fullest," Caitlyn said strongly. Lisa nodded. A companionable silence fell between the two. The discussion soon turned to art.

Caitlyn heard Rachel coming downstairs. She looked up and was once again taken aback by how pretty Rachel was, even after just waking up. Her hair looked good even in a messy bun on top of her head. Rachel still looked a bit sleepy. The previous night Caitlyn had seen how good of shape Rachel was in. She was lithe and muscular, even though she was small. Caitlyn couldn't deny that she liked how Rachel looked in her very loose shirt. She looked very sexy.

Rachel looked at Aunt Lisa seriously. Aunt Lisa smiled. And pointed in the corner, where a fresh pot of coffee had just been made. Rachel poured herself a cup and drank deeply. She came and sat down across from Caitlyn.

* * *

><p>Rachel was excited for today. The three all had breakfast. Rachel went upstairs to get ready. She was excited and just threw on a t-shirt and shorts, wanting to get back downstairs. She walked down and saw Caitlyn at the potter's wheel, sitting on the end of a bench. The radio was on. Rachel just watched. Caitlyn looked peaceful. All of the sudden Caitlyn looked up. She smiled when she saw Rachel.<p>

"You wanna try?" Caitlyn asked after a couple minutes. Rachel nodded.

Caitlyn scooted back and patted the space in front of her. Rachel ignored the rush of heat to her cheeks and sat in front of Caitlyn. Caitlyn scooted up close behind Rachel and put her arms over Rachel's and guided her hands on the wheel.

Aunt Lisa was standing at the door, unnoticed. She loved how happy both of them looked. She quietly snuck off.

Soon Caitlyn deemed the pot done. She said it was good. She stood and so did Rachel. Caitlyn cleaned up and Rachel helped. As they finished, Caitlyn leaned over and kissed Rachel. Once again, Rachel was in shock of how great it felt to kiss Caitlyn. Soon Caitlyn leaned back. Rachel caught a pained look on her face. It was just their momentarily. She furrowed her brow.

"Is everything okay?" Rachel asked, confused. Caitlyn smiled sadly, shrugging.

"What?" Rachel asked. Caitlyn sighed and grabbed Rachel's hand.

"I need to tell you something," she said. She pulled Rachel out of the house onto the beach. She made her way and sat down on the sand about ten feet away from the water. Rachel sat next to her.

The two sat in silence for about five minutes. Rachel let Caitlyn sort her thoughts out. Caitlyn took a deep breath. Then she looked Rachel in the eye.

"I… have cancer. I just finished chemo, and the doctors said… that I have two months to live," Caitlyn said in a rush. Rachel stared.

"No," Rachel said softly after a huge minute of silence. She felt tears come to her eyes. She looked at Caitlyn. Caitlyn wrapped her arms around Rachel.

"No," Rachel said stronger, "You shouldn't be comforting me." Caitlyn kissed Rachel's forehead.

"Rachel, I want you to listen to me. It hasn't even been a whole day, and you've already made me so freaking happy. I don't have a lot of time left. I know you're just finding out who you are. As of yesterday, you thought you were completely straight. I want to help you with that. In turn, you can help me live my life," Caitlyn said. Rachel looked at Caitlyn in her beautiful green eyes. Rachel nodded, more tears coming to her eyes. Caitlyn kissed Rachel's cheeks, which had tears on them. Rachel brought her lips to Caitlyn's, hard.

Caitlyn pulled back. She untangled herself from the beautiful girl in front of her and stood. She held out her hand and Rachel took it, numbly standing up. The two walked down the beach slowly. Caitlyn asked to know everything about Rachel. Rachel began. She clutched at Caitlyn's hand tightly.


	3. Turn to Stone

**I hereby dub this chapter: The SapChap. It's very cute, if I do say so myself, and I have worked on this in short little bursts so I'm glad it's finally come together! Sorry for the wait, but I have school and work! So PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE tell me what you think!**

* * *

><p>Turn to Stone<p>

Rachel, over the next few weeks, became utterly wrapped up in Caitlyn and how amazing she was and the sunshine she brought to everything she did. She had never met a more alive human being. She never allowed herself to imagine that light being extinguished and focused all her energy on keeping Caitlyn happy.

Likewise, Caitlyn found herself falling more and more in love with Rachel each day. She loved how even when she felt tired and sick, Rachel could make her smile and laugh with her voice.

Lisa watched the bond between the two grow and strengthen. Everyday Rachel and Caitlyn would go off to the beach or other places around town and spend the day together. They had begun to be able to read each others minds. Lisa knew that none of this could end well. She knew both girls were intentionally pushing aside the inevitable and focusing on the present.

* * *

><p>Caitlyn walked into Lisa's house and heard the familiar sound of Rachel singing her heart out upstairs in the shower.<p>

"Is everything set up?" Caitlyn asked, nearly bouncing with excitement.

"Of course. It's been set up ever since lunchtime when you started asking every five minutes if Rachel's surprise birthday party was all ready," Lisa said good-naturedly, pulling a homemade white chiffon cake with blueberries in it out of the refrigerator. She began frosting it with her signature lemon frosting on top. She glanced over at Caitlyn who was buzzing with nervous energy.

"Caitlyn, calm down. You've put so much thought into this party and everything's going to be just fine," Lisa said, locking eyes with Caitlyn until she took a deep breath and nodded. Lisa chuckled.

"I like your dress by the way," Lisa said, smiling. Caitlyn wore a dress that had lots of white and pink polka dots and had a petticoat on underneath. On the bottom she maintained her artsy flair with a pair of dark brown worn in oxfords. Her short blond hair was curled and her green eyes were sparkling.

Soon Lisa finished the cake and handed it off to Caitlyn who took it and, after running through a list of things that still had to be done, rushed out to her car, carefully setting the cake in her backseat. She was going to make this night perfect for Rachel.

Lisa watched Caitlyn pull out, rolling her eyes. She turned on her heel and went to get Rachel ready.

She walked in and saw Rachel going through her closet.

"Soooo… Regis' is having a "Black Tie" night?" Rachel said, without looking at Lisa, a half smile on her lips. All day nobody had said a thing about her birthday, even though her dads had called. She suspected Lisa and Caitlyn were up to something.

"Want some help?" Lisa asked. Rachel turned and laughed, nodding. Lisa quickly ran off to her room and came back. She handed the outfit to Rachel.

It was a short flowy white dress that had three-quarter inch sleeves. She put a thin brown belt around Rachel's tiny waist and some bracelets on her wrists. Rachel's hair was straightened and hung long. She tied up some brown oxford heels (

She and Lisa walked out to the car. Lisa took up casual conversation with Rachel, as if nothing was happening. Soon they pulled up to Regis' and walked in to a completely dark restaurant. Rachel walked in and, regardless of suspicions, was very surprised when the lights came on and everybody in the place yelled "SURPRISE!" She was frozen in shock. Then she unfroze and ran to Caitlyn who had opened her arms just in time to catch Rachel in a hug. Rachel threw her arms around Caitlyn's neck and whispered, "Thank you," in her ear.

Caitlyn gently pried Rachel off of her and turned her so that she could see that her fathers had both come down to Florida for her birthday. They had called earlier to help with the surprise. They had gotten into the hotel that afternoon.

Lisa had arranged for all of Rachel's favorite foods to be made. Rachel blew out her candles, as was tradition. Then she saw the mountain of presents in the corner, causing the whole room to laugh at her shocked expression.

After being persuaded, she opened some. She received many pieces of art and shells. Her fathers secretively said that her two presents were at home. Rachel was in shock of all the gifts.

When she finished, Caitlyn whispered in her ear that she'd give Rachel her present later. Rachel looked in Caitlyn's eyes and smiled. She kissed Caitlyn's cheek. Just then the band stopped.

To Rachel's pleasure Caitlyn made her way up on stage.

"Alright now," she said, smiling, "All of you know that Rachel has wormed her way into my life and… I love her," Caitlyn said, smiling at Rachel. She clipped a small wireless microphone to her ear and made her way to Rachel and stopped right in front of her. The other guests had backed off, giving the two some space. Caitlyn took a deep breath and, not breaking eye contact gave a nod, and the band began, starting with the piano.

Caitlyn grabbed Rachel's hand and looking in her eyes, beginning to sing.

**Let's take a better look  
>Beyond a story book<br>And learn our souls are all we own  
>Before we turn to stone<strong>

Caitlyn had a soft, clear as a bell voice

**Let's go to sleep with clearer heads  
>And hearts to big to fit our beds<br>And maybe we won't feel so alone  
>Before we turn to stone<strong>

Caitlyn closed her eyes and moved slightly closer to Rachel.

**And if you wait for someone else's hand  
>And you will surely fall down<br>And if you wait for someone else's hand  
>You'll fall<br>**

She opened her eyes all of the sudden.

**You'll fall**

She brought her forehead down to Rachel's, singing even softer, eyes shut.

**I know that I am nothing new  
>There's so much more than me and you<br>But sister how we must atone  
>Before we turn to stone<strong>

She snapped her eyes open and threw her arms around Rachel.

**Sister how we must atone  
>Before we turn to stone<br>**

She leaned back, a soft smile on her lips as she sang.

**Before we turn to stone**

She leaned in and gave Rachel a soft and quick kiss. Then it was Rachel's turn to through her arms around Caitlyn. Rachel leaned back after a moment and said clearly and proudly.

"I love you."

* * *

><p>Caitlyn fell back against her pillows. She was glad she'd made Rachel happy. She thought back to the end of the party, blushing slightly, still not sure what to think.<p>

* * *

><p>Rachel and Caitlyn had walked out of the restaurant.<p>

"Rachel?" she'd asked tentatively.

"Yeah?" Rachel said, turning to face Caitlyn.

"Would you like your birthday present now?" Caitlyn asked playfully. Rachel laughed.

"Yes please." Caitlyn reached into her purse and pulled out a small cotton drawstring pouch. She handed it to Rachel, who took it gingerly. She pulled it apart and reached in; pulling out a delicate chain necklace on the bottom was a charm.

"It's so beautiful, Caitlyn! Did you make it?" Rachel said, huge smile on her face. Caitlyn nodded, smiling.

Rachel had studied the charm closely. It was clay that had been sculpted in the most careful of ways. It was painted with a slight pinkish gold that shimmered in the streetlights. It was in the shape of a star but within it were small delicate carvings that resembled roses. She remembered telling Caitlyn about how she wanted the stage to be flooded with roses as she belted out the ending note. Rachel's eyes watered slightly.

"Will you help me put it on?" Rachel asked, turning around and holding up her hair. Caitlyn took the necklace and fastened the chain around Rachel's neck. Unable to help herself, she placed a gentle kiss on Rachel's slightly exposed shoulder. Rachel turned around, and brought her lips to Caitlyn's.

Caitlyn had brought Rachel to the side of the restaurant where they couldn't be seen. Their kisses turned more and more passionate. Caitlyn's hands moved to Rachel's hips, to pull her closer and Rachel pressed herself into Caitlyn. Both girls were becoming very, very turned on.

All of a sudden, Rachel had pulled away.

"I… um… Have to go," Rachel said, quickly off to Lisa's car, where Lisa had been waiting. They'd pulled off. Caitlyn had watched her pull out, embarrassed. She hadn't meant to push Rachel. She walked to her car, worrying that she'd scared Rachel off.

* * *

><p>That brought her back to the present. She didn't know what to think. She'd had sex before. Though they never talked about it, Caitlyn knew that Rachel hadn't. That's one of the things about Rachel that had caught Caitlyn's attention, aside from her obvious beauty. She had an untouched, flawless look that became apparent when you got to know her, which had been refreshing at first, but now it was frustrating. Caitlyn groaned. She sounded like Jackson now.<p>

She was stirred from her thoughts when she heard a quiet tapping on her window. She smiled slightly, seeing the petite shadow of Rachel. She moved and put up her window and smiled at the girl in front of her, illuminated in the moon and stars. Rachel wore a simple lavender t-shirt dress. She was barefoot. Caitlyn pushed down the thoughts of the fact that she was pretty sure Rachel wasn't wearing a bra and her dress was pretty short. She occupied her thoughts with the joy of seeing that Rachel was wearing her necklace. She climbed out and grabbed Rachel's hand. It seemed as if Rachel was leading her somewhere so she was content to follow.

Rachel thoughts were racing a million miles an hour about what she was about to do. She looked out of the corner of her eye at Caitlyn and took a deep breath.

"I'm really sorry about earlier," Rachel said, quickly.

"Rach, I get it. You aren't ready to be that seri…" Caitlyn started to say and then stopped, seeing what Rachel had laid out on the edge of the beach, in a small, secret cove.

"Rachel," she breathed. There was a big blanket on the ground, around the top and sides of the blankets were candles. Rachel had packed a picnic basket.

Caitlyn looked at Rachel, who looked frustrated, and had just plopped down with a big sigh on the blanket. She patted the spot beside her. Caitlyn gingerly beside her, confused.

"Look. The reason I pulled away back there, was not because I'm not ready. I've been ready since the end of that first night, as soon as I pulled back from our first kiss. There's nothing that I want more right now than to share this with you," Rachel said. She grabbed Caitlyn's hand and looked out into the ocean.

"Then what's wrong?" Caitlyn asked. Rachel was silent for a moment. Then she turned to face Caitlyn. Caitlyn saw sparkling tears in Rachel's eyes.

"Caitlyn you're…" Rachel said, and then chocked back a sob. Caitlyn gently took Rachel's face between her hands, green eyes meeting chocolate brown ones.

"Going to die? I understand that perfectly Rachel," Caitlyn said. The two were both silent. Rachel moved and kissed Caitlyn softly. Soon Caitlyn deepened the kiss. The two were on the blanket, kissing with all they had. Caitlyn pulled back, on top of Rachel, straddling her. Her face was inches from Rachel and she held a question in her eyes. As an answer, Rachel pulled her back down into another scorching kiss, pressing her body closer to the girl she loved.

* * *

><p>That night, Rachel would remember for the rest of her life. Caitlyn had been so gentle and patient, never pushing Rachel beyond what was necessary and kissing the tears away when they fell. Afterwards, Caitlyn held Rachel in her arms both under a second blanket. The two lay there, under the stars, not saying anything. Even though they both were incredibly happy, the fact that their time was limited scared both girls.<p>

Caitlyn was torn. She knew that the closer she got to Rachel now, would hurt her in the long run. She wasn't really sure how she had found peace with the fact of herself dying. She just knew that if she was at peace, it would help those who loved her. She was proud of the life she'd lived. She'd grown up and made good relationships. She'd met the love of her life. She knew that she might be a little young to say that, but at this moment, it was true. She looked at Rachel, who was blinking slowly and looking up at the sky; she could see the thoughts racing through her brain and decided to just let her think.

Rachel didn't know what to do. She'd never felt so close to anybody as she was with Caitlyn. But… Caitlyn would be gone… soon. She knew that Caitlyn would simply say they had to make the best of the situation and take advantage of the time that they still had left. But Rachel had to live with this summer. She had to continue on and follow her dreams. Its what, no matter what, she wanted. And it was what Caitlyn wanted.

Caitlyn watched resolve form in Rachel's eyes. Rachel looked at Caitlyn and the two were silent. Then Rachel sang, softly and slow.

**Let's take a better look  
>Beyond a story book<br>And learn our souls are all we own  
>Before we turn to stone.<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Song: Turn to Stone- Ingrid Michaelson <strong>


	4. Summertrain

Summertrain

Puck leaned his head back against his locker. He drowned out the sound of Jeremy telling him and all of the other dudes the story about how he broke a kid's arm over the summer at soccer camp. He sighed. He didn't want to be at school. Then, just as soon as he'd thought that, he pushed the thought back down. He needed to be here.

Over the summer, he'd left Lima and stayed in New York with his godfather David Yates. His godfather was an architect who was extremely successful. He was one of his dad's few friends that his mother still was in contact with. He'd invited Puck to live with him on the Upper East Side for the summer. Puck had interned at his studio. At first Puck had been reluctant, but then he fell in love with the whole idea of designing buildings. He'd always loved to draw, but had never really seen it as a career option. He had to admit that he loved learning about architecture, a thought that had surprised him. He planned on turning his life around. He knew what he had to do. He wanted to go to NYU and study business and architecture for a while. From there he would move on to whatever better college would take him until he got his Bachelors and his Masters, just as Dave had. Dave had offered him a job at the studio and Puck had immediately accepted. His godfather had sat Puck down and had drilled into him exactly what he needed to do. Puck planned on making him proud.

Puck blinked, bringing himself back down to reality. This summer had been huge for him. He finally knew what he wanted. Nothing was going to stop him. Gone were the days of sleeping in class. His mother had practically exploded when he told her what he wanted to do. She'd gotten him tons of college brochures. She'd gone on college websites with him. She'd called up Mrs. Pillsbury. Puck had met with her and had specifically arranged all of his classes.

Puck was drawn out of his thoughts by the shift of attention from his friends and turned to where they were facing. He couldn't believe his eyes.

Rachel Berry had arrived. All of the guys around him were speechless, as was Puck. She walked in with a ray of sunlight coming in behind her.

They stared as she took off her black aviators. Gone was the sweet little girl image. She seemed older. She wore a tight dark green tank top dress with black converse. Her hair had grown much longer. It was lighter, streaked from the sun. She had the deepest tan any of the guys had ever seen. While every guy in the school was busy checking Rachel out, Puck had his eyes on her face. He didn't like what he saw there at all.

Rachel looked dead tired. There were circles under her eyes. As she passed by Puck, he could see that she'd lost weight and was even tinier than she'd been before.

Rachel had stopped communicating with anybody in Lima about the beginning of July. Kurt had seemed like he'd known something, but had said that Rachel hadn't wanted him to tell anything. As far as Puck knew, she could have moved halfway around the world. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and ran a few steps to catch up with her. He put a hand on her shoulder.

She turned and looked him in the eyes. He was stunned by the pain and emptiness he saw in her eyes. What the hell was this? He'd seen that look before. It had been in his mother's eyes for a while after his dad had left. Rachel didn't say anything. A small smile spread on her face as a greeting. The fact that they were just standing there attracted some attention. Students watched around them with interest. Puck glanced around and gave a sigh of relief. He gently led her into the glee room, shutting the door behind him. Puck looked down at Rachel. She looked up at him, that sad, tired smile still on her lips. Without thinking Puck wrapped his arms around her. Rachel froze momentarily, but then relaxed, hands gripping tightly on Puck's arms. Puck pulled away, looking down at her.

"Rachel…," he said, trailing off. Rachel shook her head. She took a deep breath and looked down.

"I… will tell you, Noah," she said, "Just not now." Puck nodded, though on the inside he was burning with curiosity. A moment of silence followed. Rachel glanced over at the piano. Puck saw some of the sadness fade from her face. She hastily made her way over to the piano, looking at all of the stacked sheet music that Mr. Shuester had laid on the piano.

This very Rachel-ish reaction made Puck smile. Just then the warning bell rang.

"You'll be okay?" Puck asked, studying Rachel's face. She nodded and Puck reluctantly walked out.

Rachel watched him go, and felt tears come to her eyes. She knew that she'd changed. She knew that people could tell she was hurting. She wished they couldn't. She wished that she didn't have to hurt. She closed her eyes, remembering.

_"Oh stop fussing, Rachel," Caitlyn said, smiling from her hospital bed. Rachel let out an exasperated huff, putting down the extra blanket she was going to put on Caitlyn's bed, sitting down on the edge._

_"Sorry. I just want you to be comfortable," Rachel said, forcing a smile to her features. She could tell Caitlyn saw through her. _

_"Rach, I told you, I am only a little tired and Doc wants to keep me just to be safe," Caitlyn said, grabbing Rachel's hand, a smile on her face. Rachel sighed and nodded. On the inside, she knew that Caitlyn was lying. Caitlyn's hands were ice cold and her normally tanned skin looked pale. She was breathing shallowly. _

_"Rachel, I don't want you to beat yourself up about this," Caitlyn said, just as a nurse came in and placed a pill and a paper cup of water on Caitlyn's tray for her so she could go to sleep. Caitlyn dutifully took it and snuggled deeper into the pillows._

_"I don't want you to hurt," Caitlyn said softly, weakly squeezing Rachel's hand. Rachel nodded and watched as Caitlyn fell asleep. Rachel had gently taken her hand from Caitlyn's and stood up, shutting her eyes tight, finally feeling the tears coming now that Caitlyn no longer was watching her. With tears softly falling, Rachel turned back and looked at her girlfriend's beautiful face. Caitlyn was smiling in her sleep a faint blush in her cheeks. _

Rachel took a deep breath and blinked back the tears that threatened to fall then and there. She hurried out of the room to her first class. She threw herself into the lesson, needing the distraction.

Santana in the corner of the room, was shocked to see how much the little diva had changed. She didn't like the vulnerable expression that seemed to naturally fall on Rachel's face. Glad her seat was in the back of the room, Santana pulled out her phone.

**Santana: what the hell is up with Berry?**

**Puck: no idea, tried to talk to her earlier but she wouldn't talk. Anyway g2g. We'll talk in glee**

Santana sighed and slipped her phone back into her pencil case. Puck's new drive for education was already annoying.

Rachel walked into the cafeteria. She went through the line, picking up a salad and an orange juice. She walked outside and found an empty table. She pulled out her phone and stared at the background. It was a picture of her and Caitlyn, on the beach. Lisa had taken it.

Rachel looked up as three football players sat down around her.

"Um… hi," Rachel said warily.

"So Berry, what's with the new look," Brian Adams asked, pervish smile on his lips.

* * *

><p>Puck walked outside and immediately zeroed in on three letterman-jacket-clad guys all talking to a very uncomfortable girl. He walked over and slid onto the bench right next to Rachel, glaring at the guys. They took the hint and walked off. They probably assumed that Puck, as top dog, already had his eye on Rachel. He let them go and then moved to the seat across from Rachel.<p>

"Thanks," Rachel said, smile finally reaching her eyes for the first time that day.

"No problem," Puck said, smiling back. A moment of comfortable silence followed.

"So… how was your summer?" Rachel asked. The two both smiled at the cliché question. Puck chuckled, but then he found himself telling her all about New York and his new goals.

Rachel watched Puck while he went on and on about architecture. She couldn't help but be happy that he was happy. He talked fast and animatedly, not even touching his pizza. She'd never heard him talk that much. At one point he pulled out his phone, came back and sat next to her. He showed her pictures of the studio and some of the drawings that he had done. Soon he had nothing left to say. He sat there, an excited light still in his eyes.

Rachel smiled at him, grabbed his hand and squeezed it and simply said, "Puck, that is amazing." Puck was slightly surprised at her sincerity. He looked down at her tiny hand that was in his. Just then the warning bell rang. Rachel looked down at their hands as well and gently pulled it out, blushing.

"I, um, have to go," Rachel said, quickly standing and walking off. Puck saw that her lunch was entirely untouched. He furrowed his brow and watched her walk off. He sighed and shoveled his pizza in his mouth, washing it down with Gatorade. Then he saw that Rachel had left her iPhone sitting next to her spot on the bench. He picked it up but then saw she got a text. It was from Kurt asking to have coffee, but that wasn't what he was interested in. He cleared the screen of the message and looked at the picture.

Rachel and a tall blonde were standing on a beach. Rachel had her arms around the blonde and was on her tiptoes, kissing the blonde's cheek. Puck slipped the phone in his pocket to give to Rachel in glee, confused. He ran off to class, wondering what Rachel was hiding.

* * *

><p>Rachel walked into glee after school and couldn't help but feel comforted at the familiar sight in front of her. Britney, Tina, Mike and Santana were dancing in the corner to the beat of Finn playing the drums and Sam playing the guitar. Mr. Shuester was at the piano with Kurt and Mercedes, discussing costumes. Lauren was in the corner talking with Quinn. Rachel was also surprised to see that Matt was back. He had his headphones on, one over his ear and one off. He was showing Artie something on his laptop.<p>

Then the bell rang and everybody looked up from what they were doing to look up at Rachel, who smiled shyly and moved to her seat. Puck walked in and sat down next to her. He handed over her phone with a smile. She took it and mouthed a thank you, as Mr. Shuester began to speak.

"It's great to see all of you," he said, smiling, "Without further ado, I would like to announce that Emma and I are getting married." After a moment, the glee kids all cheered, whistled and clapped. After fifteen minutes, in which the glee girls grilled Mr. Shuester about wedding details, Mr. Shuester gave the assignment. The kids would have to sing **their **summer anthem.

"Does anybody want to go now?" Mr. Shuester asked. Rachel thought for a second. She closed her eyes, remembering. It had been before Caitlyn had gone into the hospital. She and Caitlyn had been on the beach for a barbecue and this song had come on the radio. That night, like many others, had been perfect. After a breath, she raised her hand.

"Mr. Shuester, I have a song," she said. He nodded and gestured for her to take the floor. She moved over to the band.

She grabbed the smaller acoustic guitar, the only one that was small enough for her, from the corner. Jackson had taught her how to play over the summer. She told the band what she wanted to do. She even talked to Finn, who was still sitting at the drums, telling him to play how he wanted. He nodded. He also could tell that she had really changed and he wanted to know why. He also needed to find a way to apologize to her for the things he said. Rachel moved in front of the glee club, all of whom looked interested. Rachel began playing on the guitar, and soon the band joined her. After a few seconds of the music, Rachel began to sing.

**Come with me for a little ride, see the shadows passing by**

**Look at the sun and see the clouds turn to faces in the sky**

Rachel closed her eyes, picturing Caitlyn's face, green eyes sparkling.

**We've been awake all night, shattered dreams all around**

**Close your sad, sad eyes****, we will be safe and sound****  
><strong>

**Come with me for a little ride, see the shadows passing by**

**Look at the sun and see the clouds turn to faces in the sky**

**Daydreaming lightly through the rain**

**All's forgiven on a summer train****  
><strong>

Rachel's voice had a new depth and passion to it. The glee club was in awe as she moved through the music smoothly.

**Come with me for a little ride, see the shadows passing by**

Rachel remembered what she and Caitlyn had shared that night on the beach. She rolled her eyes up to the ceiling to keep tears from falling over.

**Seems we are a thousand miles away from last night**

**As you sigh in my ear, kiss the rain goodbye****  
><strong>

**Come with me for a little ride, see the shadows passing by**

**Look at the sun and see the clouds turn to faces in the sky**

**Daydreaming lightly through the rain**

**All's forgiven on a summer train****  
><strong>

The guitar player in the band began playing Rachel's part and she put down the guitar and moved by herself with the music.

**Come with me for a little ride, see the shadows passing by**

**Come away with me, it's gonna be all right just breathe **

**Come away with me, it's gonna be all right you'll see****  
><strong>

**And the windows are crying, but this train is flying us all through the rain, I fear**

**And the sky is getting brighter with every mile**

**And it all seems clear****  
><strong>

Rachel realized she was, in a way, talking to Caitlyn even though she was gone. Just then the girls started singing her part. Rachel let them, and added a harmony above it.

**Come with me for a little ride, see the shadows passing by**

**Look at the sun and see the clouds turn to faces in the sky**

**Daydreaming lightly through the rain**

**All's forgiven on a summer train****  
><strong>

**Come with me for a little ride, see the shadows passing by**

**Come away with me, it's gonna be all right just breathe **

**Come away with me, it's gonna be all right you'll see****  
><strong>**Come away with me, it's gonna be all right just breathe**

**Come away with me, it's gonna be all right you'll see, you'll see****  
><strong>**Come away with me**

Rachel finished the last note and looked down, brushing a small tear away from the corner of her eyes. The glee club burst into cheers. Rachel's song had been hypnotic. Mr. Shuester came up and patted her on the back. Rachel smiled at him and walked back to her seat to receive more praise. Mr. Shuester had seen how watery her eyes had been. He glanced at Rachel, wondering what she was hiding.

* * *

><p><strong>Dang, This is one of those chapters that was hard to right simply because it needed to be emotional. Seriously, I teared up in a few parts of this when I reread it. Please tell me what you think and any suggestions that you have. <strong>

**Song: Summertrain by Greyson Chance **


	5. Off Limits

Rachel sighed as her alarm went off. She punched the top of it and made her way downstairs. She poured herself coffee, still hot from her fathers' making it. They were both gone for work. Rachel had just taken a sip when their was a knock on her door. She looked down at herself. All she wore was a purple cami and black leggings. Her hair was a wavy mess, hanging around her shoulders. She pulled on her dad's Dartmouth sweater from the chair and went to the door.

"Hey," she said. Puck stood there.

"I wondered if you needed a ride?" he said.

"That'd be great," Rachel said, stepping aside for him to come in. She checked the clock. It was only six forty-five.

"I can't believe you're out of bed so early," she said, walking to the kitchen with him following. He laughed.

"I've been up since four thirty."

"Doing what?" Rachel asked incredulously, pouring Puck some coffee.

"Well I went for a run, worked out, showered, made breakfast for Mom and Julia and got Julia to her friends house so they can go to kindergarten together," Puck said, describing his morning routine that he'd done basically all summer.

"Puck. You really have changed," Rachel said, smiling at him.

"Yep," he said, smiling back.

"By the way, my dads told me about your application to work at their firm for the year," Rachel said. Puck nodded. He needed a better job than cleaning thirteen pools and he'd been applying just about everywhere he could think of. He'd put on the application that he'd do simple stuff, like trash, cleaning, filing, and whatever else they needed. He'd figured he'd had a good shot, since Rachel's dads knew him and liked him.

"I put in a good word for you," Rachel added. Puck thanked her. A comfortable silence fell between them.

"Rachel? What happened this summer?" He asked, looking into her eyes. Rachel looked down at her coffee, organizing her thoughts. Puck let her, knowing this was hard for her. She took a deep breath and began.

"You know I left because of Finn and all of the bullying. I got to Aunt Lisa's planning on forgetting everything and just... living for once, not calculating every move I make so that it helps me with my future," she paused, eyes watering up.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," Puck said hurriedly, walking and putting a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him, shaking her head, implying that she would continue. She turned around and jumped up to sit on the island. Puck leaned on it, looking up at her. She was staring out the window, sunshine coming in on her face.

"That first night, I met a girl named Caitlyn. She was the girl on my phone," Rachel said, sighing, "I had never met a girl quite like her. She was so... happy and just where she wanted to be. She invited me to a party on the beach with her friends. We went back to Lisa's so I could change, and I heard her on the phone with her friend. She said that she liked me. Liked me, liked me," Rachel said, almost smiling, "but she wasn't going to push me at all. That night was magical," Rachel said, a tear finally falling. Puck took one of her hands, listening.

"She dropped me off, and... just as she turned to go... I kissed her. After that... we were together. But... she told me the next day, on the beach," Rachel finally met Puck's eyes, "she had cancer. She had two months to live," Rachel said, finally breaking down and started sobbing. Puck stood and wrapped his arms around her, she buried her face in his neck. He rubbed her back until she calmed down.

"She's gone," Rachel whispered. She took a shaky breath and pulled away. She looked down again. Puck put a hand under her chin, lifting her head so that she was looking in his eyes.

"Yes. But she would want you to be strong. She'd want to follow your dreams with music," Puck said. Rachel grabbed the necklace she was wearing, smiling through her tears.

"Caitlyn made this," she said, showing it to Puck. Puck looked at it. It was a clay star that had roses etched into it and shimmered in the sunlight. He smiled.

"Go get dressed," he whispered. Rachel nodded and he helped her off the island.

"Thank you, Noah," she said, over her shoulder, stopping in the doorway out of the kitchen.

"It's what I'm here for," he said, shrugging. He sighed as she left. God, she needed his help.

Rachel came downstairs ten minutes later, hair in a side bun with her bangs French-braided back, a lace crocheted tank top, ripped jean shorts and brown laced up moccasins.

"Ready?" he asked. She nodded, smiling. They walked outside. It was a gorgeous morning. The sun was shining and there was a slight breeze. The warm summer air felt so good on her cool skin.

"You got a new truck?" Rachel said. Parked in her driveway was a huge, black truck. It was shiny and clean.

"Yeah, my uncle gave it to me as an eighteenth birthday present," Puck said happily.

"It' s so big," she breathed. Puck laughed and climbed in. He watched, amused as she stepped up, careful.

"I have to help Julia," Puck said, laughing.

"How is she?" Rachel asked, buckling her seat belt.

"She's really good. She's really smart and the teachers love her. She's little miss perfect." Puck laughed. "She loves to draw and dress up. She has the most annoying friends. They all love me and never stop giggling," he said, smirking as he put down all the windows and opened the sun roof. Rachel smiled and slipped on her aviators from her bag.

"Could I come see her soon? I miss her," Rachel said. Puck remembered Rachel used to play with his sister at temple when she'd been a baby and Rachel and Puck had been twelve. They'd stopped hanging in middle school when it became apparent that nobody thought she was cool. Rachel saw his face look unhappy and followed what must have been his train of thought.

"Hey, it's alright," she said, smiling at him. Puck looked at her, gratitude on his face. Rachel smiled and turned on the radio. Sweet Disposition by the Temper Trap came on. Rachel and Puck both sang along.

Rachel loved this with Puck. The sun was shining. She closed her eyes and saw Caitlyn's smile in her head. She took a deep breath and leaned back, relaxing for the first time in a while.

* * *

><p>Rachel got out of Puck's car. He put an arm around her shoulder. Surprisingly, it made her feel good. Like she was safe and nothing could touch her as long as he was there.<p>

Puck didn't think twice about putting his arm around her. He had seen his friends approaching and he'd just acted without thinking. She didn't seem to mind.

He didn't know what to think. She had been in love. And he knew she still was, in a way. He also didn't know what to think about the girl thing. Did she like girls now? He blinked hard, clearing his head. That was the last thing she needed right now. She had lost somebody she loved. That was it. She was off limits.

Rachel looked up at Puck. His jaw was set. He looked like he was thinking hard. She sighed as lots of jocks came up. They were all elbowing each other, each with their eyes on the two.

"Hey Puckerman. And Rachel," Azimio said, coming up, hands in pockets.

"Sup man," he said, bumping his free fist to Azimio's outstretched one. He glanced down at Rachel and saw the faint look of fear in her eyes. She was surrounded by huge guys who weighed twice as much as her and had all either slushied her or bullied her or laughed at her.

"Puck, practice after school, Beiste is posting the list for the team," Josh said.

They started talking about football and the upcoming season. Puck watched as Rachel began to relax, he squeezed her shoulder comfortingly, he saw her mouth curve up into a small smile out of the corner of his eye. They all walked into school as a group.

The student body didn't believe what they saw. Rachel Berry, with Noah Puckerman's arm around her, surrounded by football players, who weren't making fun of her. Soon they all left for their classes, leaving Rachel at her locker with Puck.

"You did good," he said, laughing.

"Noah, you would be frightened as well if you were surrounded by people twice your size all looking at you as if you were a piece of meat," Rachel said, raising an eyebrow while rummaging around in her locker.

"Nobody's gonna touch you," he said. Rachel looked up at him, a smile edging across her lips. She grabbed her books and shut the locker and started walking to her class, Puck following.

The morning past uneventfully for Rachel. She got her first homework of the year in every class, not that she minded. It was fairly easy. She made her way to lunch.

* * *

><p>Puck made his way outside to eat lunch. He was immediately surrounded. His brow furrowed as Azmio handed him his guitar.<p>

"Dude, why do you have this?" Puck said, not letting anger in his voice, even though he didn't like it when people messed with his guitar.

"We grabbed it from the glee room," Douglas, a beefy sophomore said.

"We want you and Berry to sing us a song," Azimio said, cheeky smile. Puck raised an eyebrow. "Fine, I actually liked the Lady A song you did last year," Azimio said with a huff.

"I actually want to hear this, and Sam said it was cool," Josh said. Puck looked over at Sam questioningly.

"They actually do want you to sing," Sam shrugged. Puck sighed and spotted Rachel coming out. She locked eyes with him. He used his head to gesture her over. She walked over, looking at the jocks warily.

"Will you sing us a song?" Brian Adams asked in a childish whiny voice, rocking back and forth on his heels with his hands clasped. The rest of the jocks laughed and began pleading with her. Against her will, Rachel smiled. She looked at Puck. He shrugged.

"Okay," Rachel said. She thought for a second. She whispered in Puck's ear and he smiled. He then handed his guitar to Sam, telling him the song. He laughed and nodded, beginning to play. Hearing the music, students turned their heads, and seeing that the jocks were into it, they actually payed attention.

Rachel watched as Puck jumped up on a long table. He held out his arm for her. She took it, hopping up on the table. Puck began to sing to Rachel.

**Just shoot for the stars**

**If it feels right**

**And aim for my heart**

**If you feel like**

**And take me away, I'll make it okay**

**I swear I'll behave**

Rachel moved her hips and danced while he sang with her eyes closed. Then she sang to Puck, adding a little rasp to her voice.

_You wanted control_

_So we waited_

She moved her hips in a slow circle, earning her some whistles.

_I put on a show_

_Now I make it. _

She turned her body away from Puck and acted as if she was offended, putting a hand over her heart.

_You say I'm a kid_

_My ego is big_

_I don't give a shhhhh_

She put a finger to her lips. Puck laughed

**And it goes like this**

**Take me by the tongue**

**And I'll know you**

Puck took a step towards Rachel, until he was close to her.

**Kiss me like you want**

**And I'll show you**

He moved with the beat as he sang the next part.

**Got the moves like Jagger**

**got the moves like Jagger**

**got the moves like Jagger**

Rachel put a hand on his shoulder as she started singing to him, pulling him towards her to look in her eyes.

I_ don't need to try to control you_

_Look into my eyes and I'll own you_

She also got into the beat and the music.

_With them moves like Jagger_

_I've got the moves like Jagger_

_I've got the moves like Jagger_

_Baby it's hard_

She ran her hand down Puck's chest.

_When you feel like you're broken and scarred_

_Nothing feels right_

She pulled him closer to her, smiling.

_But when you're with me_

_I'll make you believe_

_That I've got the key_

Puck turned her around so she was still close to him but facing away, she moved her hips to the beat.

**So get in the car**

_**We can ride it**_

**Wherever you want**

_**Get inside it**_

There were catcalls

**And you want to steer**

He spun her back around so that their faces were inches from each other.

**But I'm shifting gears**

**I'll take it from here**

_**And it goes like this**_

They sang together, their eyes locked.

_**Take me by the tongue**_

_**And I'll know you **_

_**Kiss me like you want**_

_**And I'll show you**_

** the moves like Jagger**

** got the moves like Jagger**

** got the moves like Jagger**

They kept singing together, but Puck let her voice soar above his.

_**I don't need to try to control you**_

_**Look into my eyes and I'll own you**_

_**With them moves like Jagger**_

_**I've got the moves like Jagger **_

_**I've got the moves like Jagger**_

He sang the next part, grinning when the lyrics called for it, then took her hands.

**You wanna know how to make me smile**

**Take control, own me just for the night**

**And if I share my secret**

**You're gonna have to keep it**

**Nobody else can see this**

_So watch and learn_

_I won't show you twice_

She twirled quickly, dropped it low and came up faster than Puck could react, actually rubbing against him. Neither payed any attention to the cheering and approval of the audience. Rachel actually let herself growl as she sang.

_Head to toe, oooh baby rub me right_

_But if I share my secret_

_You're gonna have to keep it_

_Nobody else can see this Ay! Ay! Ay! Aaay!_

**Take me by the tongue**

_**And I'll know you**_

**Kiss me like you want **

_**And I'll show you **_

_**Got the moves like Jagger**_

_** got the moves like Jagger**_

** got the moves like Jagger**

Rachel belted out the next part, earning her cheers from the watching crowd of students.

_I don't need to try to control you_

_**Look into my eyes and I'll own you**_

_**With them moves like Jagger**_

_**I've got the moves like Jagger**_

_**I've got the moves like Jagger**_

The jocks whistled the last part. Rachel and Puck were looking at each other, both surprised. Rachel bit her lip, looking away shyly as the whole courtyard burst into loud clapping, cheers, and whistles.

She hopped down and was met with many fist bumps from the jocks. Puck followed. Sam walked up next to him, both of them watching Rachel.

"Dude," Sam stated, looking concerned at his friend.

"I know," Puck sighed, wondering what he'd gotten himself into. Yep. He definitely liked her. A lot.


	6. Better Than I Know Myself

**Song:**

**Better Than I Know Myself - Adam Lambert **

* * *

><p>Better Than I Know Myself<p>

Rachel sank down onto the couch in the back of the library with a sigh and put on her big purple DJ headphones. She began her homework. The day had been very long. Everything seemed to be moving fast, while she was moving slow. Puck was being amazing. He had been there just at the right moment, when she was at the point of being too overwhelmed. At the point of missing Caitlyn too much. She wasn't going to lie to herself and say that she didn't feel something for him.

She let out a long, pent up breath, turning up the volume to clear her head.

Puck walked out of the locker room. He had just gotten out of the shower after a long practice. He had to stop in the library to get a book for his English homework.

Puck was surprised by the admiration he was getting. Sure, he'd been a stud before. But a lot of his power was from fear. Now he saw respect in the eyes of his friends. He hadn't heard one jab at glee club. Also, Beiste had, without hesitation, put him on the team in his old spot, his favorite, without question. He was in the best shape too. He'd recorded praise from Beiste for his rigorous summer workouts. He had gained muscle mass.

He walked in the library and found his book quickly. As the librarian was checking out the book, his eyes wandered. The library was empty except for him and the two librarians and... a smile crept onto his face. He took his book and walked to the corner. She still hadn't noticed him. She had big purple headphones in and was looking at a big book with glossy pages, facing away from him with the book resting on her knees. He came closer and saw they were professional shots of people on the Broadway stage. Puck stood still for a moment.

Then he moved and sat down facing her on the other side of the couch, smiling childishly. She'd looked up, startled, then a smile came to her face. She put the headphones around her neck, pausing her music.

"Hey," she said.

"Whatcha doin?" he asked. She thought for a moment.

"Dreaming," she said softly, a slight smile on her face. Puck smiled back. That was something he admired about her. When bad things happened that shook her to her core, she held on to herself and sanity by standing firm in what she wanted and cared about. He looked up to see her studying his face carefully.

"What?" he asked when she didn't stop.

"Now you have a dream too," she said, smile growing. He nodded, feeling a warmth spread in his chest. He did have a dream. He wanted to he out of this town and make something of himself.

He sighed and stood up.

"You want a ride?" he asked stretching out his aching muscles, loving the feeling. He liked being sore; it was proof that what he did had an effect, that he tried hard enough.

"Yeah, I'll text my dads," she said, standing up and tucking the book and iPod into her bag.

* * *

><p>Rachel woke with a start as a pillow was chucked at her head. She sat up to see Kurt standing, fully dressed, in front of her mirror, gelling his hair perfectly.<p>

"I like how you redid your room," he said, looking around.

"Glad you approve," Rachel said, sitting up and sleepily rubbing her eyes. She had redone the room in pretty purples and rich reds with some golds. She loved it.

Kurt had shown up for a sleepover, not long after Puck had dropped her off, insisting that they catch up, regardless of it being a school night. He'd heard what had happened that summer. He was very proud of his friend for being strong.

"I picked you out an outfit. Also I pulled some stuff out of your closet. I really think it should beth thrown out or burned," he said, turning back to reexamine his hair, to hide the sheepish look on his face. Rachel looked over at the huge pile of clothes on the floor, consisting of long dresses, knee socks, animal sweaters, and penny loafers. She chuckled to herself and went to the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. It smelled like Kurt's fancy shampoo in there and it was still steamy. She came back out, to find Kurt texting Blaine.

"You don't go anywhere unprepared," she said, slipping off her t-shirt and shorts and beginning to put on the outfit Kurt had laid out for her.

"You never know," he shrugged, turning around. His eyes widened when he saw her.

"Rachel, are you eating enough?" he asked after a moment. He watched as she sighed tiredly, pulling on her tights. Her silence made Kurt furrow his brow. He waited for an answer, but none came.

Kurt had laid out some tailored black shorts to be over sheer tights that had small black dots all over. She wore a loose gray top that was wide at the top, emphasizing her collarbone. She slipped on short buckled ankle boots.

"So... you and Puck seem pretty friendly," Kurt said, blue eyes locking on Rachel's, a sly smile on his face.

"Um... about that... I don't know what it is. I like how I feel with him. I don't know why, but when he's around I feel like I'm safe. And what happened with... well it feels better" she said, defeated at the end. Kurt let it go. He sat her down and pinned up her wavy hair in a high updo, tying a thick red headband in a bow that sat on her part. He sat back and pronounced her ready.

Rachel felt happy as she walked out to Kurt's car. She missed hanging out with him. He had spent half the night talking about a place called NYADA in New York. He wanted her to apply with him. Thinking up ways to impress admissions had been a fantastic distraction after telling Kurt about her summer. Rachel had told Kurt he should run for president and he'd thought it'd been a good idea, as long as she'd be his manager.

Rachel walked into school with Kurt, but he quickly left to find Blaine. Rachel hadn't taken a step when she felt somebody run up behind her.

"Hey," Puck said, smiling at Rachel. She smiled back.

"Morning," she said. They reached her locker. She opened it and was getting her books, telling Puck about how she wanted to get the lead in the musical. The whole time, she rambled, going through musicals. Puck watched her, slight smile on his face. His eyes strayed to her collarbone, which was bare and sexy. He brought his eyes back up and chastised himself silently, then he watched her eyes. She seemed happier. They had that old sparkle in them again. He figured it was hanging with Kurt again.

* * *

><p>Rachel sighed as the last bell of the day rang. She had had a very long day. She was woodenly putting her books in her locker. Kurt and Blaine walked up.<p>

"Hey Rachel!" Blaine said, dapper as ever, "Are you going to Santana's party tomorrow?" Rachel smiled.

"Yeah, she invited me this morning. You guys?" Rachel asked, shoving in her English book. The two said they were going and bid Rachel a good day. They walked off holding hands, a gesture that made Rachel smile. She was bending over to pick up a dropped folder, when Mr. Shuester, flanked by Finn walked up. Rachel straightened.

"Yes?" she asked. Finn looked excited. Rachel could tell he'd forgotten about last year. He was practically bouncing.

"Rachel, do you have any ideas for Sectionals yet?" Mr. Shuester asked. He was holding a clipboard that looked empty. Rachel sighed and glanced at Finn. Neither would leave without an answer.

"I thought maybe we could do something from the American Idiot Green Day musical," she said slowly and carefully, with the two hanging on each word. She glanced between the two as they began talking excitedly. She watched them walked away, confused. She shook her head, slung her bag over her shoulder and shut her locker gently. She felt a headache coming on. Just then she was surrounded. By large, football players that could squish her. Easily.

"Yo Berry, you goin to Lopez's tomorrow?" Azimio asked. Rachel squeaked out a yes, causing the others to laugh. They stayed surrounding her, all talking and joking at once. Rachel was freaking out. Then she felt a warm hand around her waist, pulling her away from the group. She heard them calling out greetings and catcalls but she didn't care. She was relieved.

"Thanks," she said. She and Puck walked outside. He guided her to his truck, hand on the small of her back. He didn't talk. Rachel buckled herself in, enjoying the hot sun-warmed leather on her cold skin. She had her eyes closed, breathing deeply. She opened her eyes and looked over at Puck. He smiled gently at her and took her hand, holding it in his large one. Rachel left out a pent up breath.

"You okay?" he asked, eyes not leaving her face. Rachel slowly nodded. A smile spread on Puck's face.

"Good, cause you're coming with me," he said, lips pulling back into an even bigger smile, as he pulled out of the senior parking lot. Rachel felt herself catching his good mood. He turned on the radio. He liked how she just sat back and enjoyed the ride. She started singing along with the radio, harmonizing perfectly. He put his arm on the back of her seat, feeling at peace.

He was taking her to his favorite spot ever. They drove for a good twenty minutes. He looked over and saw she'd fallen asleep, still holding his hand. He gave it a squeeze and she opened her eyes.

"Sorry," she said, rubbing her eyes.

"S'ok," Puck said, "Come on," I gotta show you something," he said. He got out of the car. Rachel stepped out and looked around.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"This is where my dad and I used to come. Before he got all screwed up," Puck said, letting out a sigh of contentment.

"He and I would fish at the lake over there," Puck said pointing, "and my mom and sister would be over here. She was a baby then. This was... a good place for me," Puck said. Rachel felt her heart melt.

"Thank you for bringing me," she said, walking over beside him, slipping her hands in her shorts' pockets. Puck gave a nod and walked over to his truck and open the back trunk. Rachel saw that he had stuff for a campfire and a party.

"What's going on?" Rachel asked excitedly.

"Tonight's supposed to be kinda cold. Perfect for the first bonfire party of the year," Puck said. Rachel smiled. She and Puck set up the fire and table of food. As they were finishing, Puck looked up.

"Oh, I forgot, Kurt grabbed you some clothes to put in my truck, so you don't get cold. If you want you can wear my sweatshirt too," he said, arms full of firewood. Rachel got in the back of Puck's truck. She took a deep breath. Bonfire parties. She remembered all of them on the beach with Caitlyn. She felt her cheeks were flushed. It was Puck. He helped her.

She pulled on the dark jeans, long sleeve purple shirt, and her tan Uggs. She slipped on Puck's big football sweatshirt. She pushed up the sleeves so it fit. It smelled like him. She stepped out and saw him sitting on the edge of a dock that had been built on the edge of the lake. She walked and lowered herself next to him, pulling her knees up to her chest and resting her chin on her knees.

"Puck..." Rachel began.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just, this place reminds me of who I used to be. Before I became an asshole," he said, not looking at Rachel.

"You're not. And honestly, you only were on the outside. Sometimes," Rachel said. Puck looked at her and chuckled.

They sat for a while, just enjoying each other's company. Then the cars began coming. Rachel decided to have fun. It was strange for her though. People actually seemed to want to talk to her. Popular kids talked to her and seemed to hang on every word she said. She enjoyed it while it lasted, talking to the people that had never given her the time of day until now.

Puck couldn't believe it. The whole night he'd been surrounded by his friends, but all he could think about was Rachel and if she was okay. He could tell that school had been hard for her. She was overwhelmed after spending a summer far away from Lima and all that came with it. He watched as she slowly relaxed. The people that were here were slowly realizing how cool she was. They'd never given her a chance before. Because of him. He sighed.

Later that night, everybody was huddled around the fire.

"How bout a song Rachel?" Santana said, plopping down next to the tinier girl, who sat by the fire. Everybody gave hoots of agreement. Rachel looked unsure, but then Puck sat down next to her, with a look of encouragement, holding his guitar, which must've been in his trunk. Rachel nodded and whispered in his ear. Puck was shocked. How had she known the guilt he was feeling? He took a breath and began, strumming, then began to sing.

(**Puck**, _Rachel_, _**Both**_)

**Cold as ice**

**And more bitter than a December**

**Winter night**

**That's how I treated you**

**And I know that I**

**I sometimes tend to loose my temper**

**And I cross the line**

**Yeah that's the truth**

Rachel put a hand on Puck's shoulder and took the song away from him, he kept playing, not looking at her.

_I know it gets hard sometimes_

_But I could never_

_Leave your side_

_No matter what I say_

Puck looked up as she through her head back, singing with all she had.

_'Cause if I wanted to go_

_I woulda gone by now but_

_I really need you near me_

_To keep my mind off the edge_

_If I wanted to leave_

_I would've left by now_

_But you're the only one that knows me_

_Better than I know myself_

Puck started to sing again, and finally Rachel met his eyes.

**All along**

**I tried to pretend it didn't matter**

**If I was alone**

**Deep down I know**

**If you were gone**

Rachel began to sing, not breaking eye contact with Puck. The other kids watched, unsure of what to think.

_For even a day I wouldn't know which way to turn_

_'Cause I'm lost without you_

_I know it gets hard sometimes_

_But I could never_

_Leave your side_

_No matter what I say_

Finally they sang together, Rachel sang above him, harmonizing.

_**'Cause if I wanted to go**_

_**I would've gone by now**_

_**But I really need you near me**_

_**To keep my mind off the edge**_

_**If I wanted to leave**_

_**I would've left by now**_

_**But you're the only one that knows me**_

_**Better than I know myself**_

Puck started to sing softly.

**I get kind of dark**

**Let it go too far**

**I can be obnoxious at times**

**But try and see my heart**

Rachel sang just just as softly.

_'Cause I need you now_

_So don't let me down_

_You are the only thing in this world_

_I would die without_

Both shut their eyes and sang, feeling every word.

_**'Cause if I wanted to go**_

_**I would've gone by now but**_

_**I really need you near me**_

_**To keep my mind off the edge**_

_**If I wanted to leave**_

_**I would've left by now**_

_**But you're the only one that knows me**_

_**Better than I know myself**_

_**'Cause if I wanted to go**_

_**I would've gone by now but**_

_**I really need you near me**_

_**To keep my mind off the edge**_

_**If I wanted to leave**_

_**I would've left by now**_

_**But you're the only one that knows me**_

_**Better than I know my self**_

For a moment it was completely quiet. The breeze came by, rustling everything softly. Then, as one the group burst into cheers and whistles. Puck looked at Rachel. She was looking down at her lap.

"You okay?" he asked gently.

"Yeah," she said, giving him a greatful smile. She stood and walked over to grab a water, leaving Puck to be surrounded by his friends, giving him high fives and claps on the back. He saw Rachel talking with some girls, including Brittany and Santana. The latter seeming very affectionate towards Rachel. Well it was about time. He remembered that she, Rachel and Brittany had all been really good friends from preschool to about 7th grade. Even though she was surrounded by Cheerios, she still seemed hesitant, as of she was scared one might pull out a slushie. She slowly relaxed as the night wore on.

It was one in the morning and everybody but Santana, Brittany, Rachel and Puck had left. Santana and Britney had currently run off to make out. Rachel and Puck sat by the fire, which was slowly dying. They sat, not talking. Suddenly, Rachel looked up.

"Puck I forgave you a long time ago, you have nothing to be sorry about," Rachel said quickly.

"I know. I just feel like I don't deserve it," Puck said after a moment, brow furrowed. He was expecting her to feel sorry for him. He was grateful that she gave an impatient huff instead, looking away. She stood and pulled Puck up by the hand.

"Look around you," she ordered. Puck complied,

"This place was magical for you. Now it's not. Now it's a reminder of what you used to have. I never want to look at you and feel that way. I feel that way every single time I have to make an excuse to not talk to Aunt Lisa on the phone. Puck, don't let what's in the past keep you from living," Rachel said, voice wavering with emotion. Puck looked at her, cheeks flushed, eyes sparkling in the light from the fire.

He wasn't sure who moved first, but all of the sudden, they were kissing. After the hard kiss turned soft, Puck pulled back slowly, keeping his arms around her. He met her eyes. She looked down, sighing softly.

Puck was supposed to give Santana and Brittany a ride home, so Rachel and Puck waited until they were done. Rachel and Puck sat in the bed of Puck's truck. Puck thought kissing Rachel would have ruined the night, making it all awkward and hard for Rachel. Instead, it seemed to have calmed her. The radio was on from Puck's truck. Rachel sang along with it when their conversation lulled. But they mostly talked about when they were kids, reminiscing on all that they'd done. Puck wished that the night would never end.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you liked it! This all kinda came out today, that's why it's long... SORRY FOR THE WAIT! School, work and musical have been running my life. Please tell me what you think! Love you all!<strong>


	7. I Don't Want This Night to End

**Sorry about the wait. I'm on spring break, but basically my life is working, driving my sister around, sleeping and trying to put this together. I'm gonna ease back into my stories, and by this summer, I'll be rolling them out like a pro. I really like this chapter, even though it is angsty. Pleaaaaaaaaaase tell me whatchya think at the end!**

**Song: I Don't Want this Night to End by Luke Bryan **

* * *

><p>Puck opened his eyes the next morning, and slowly he woke up. He rubbed his eyes and sat up with a yawn. Last night had been close to the happiest he'd ever been. Rachel had listened to him talk about his dad. They had sat in the bed of his truck, just talking, and enjoying the other's company. Puck had his arm around her and she'd been warm.<p>

Puck dragged himself into the shower and made his way downstairs, inhaling some orange juice and the omelet his mom had wrapped in foil for him. He was just about to leave to take his sister to school when a rhythmic, light tap sounded on his door.

He opened it and saw Kurt standing on his doorstep. Puck nodded a greeting and waved at Blaine and Finn who were out in the car.

"What's up Kurt?" Puck said, turning back inside, Kurt following.

"I wanted to talk to you about Rachel," Kurt said, brow furrowing. Puck turned from where he was cleaning dishes.

"What about her?" Puck said, sitting. He watched as Kurt took a breath, putting his thoughts together.

"I was texting her last night. She told me you guys kissed. I asked her how she felt about that. She had no clue. She's not eating Puck. She can't sleep. I swear she's getting thinner. I know you make her happier. But she's hurting. You don't understand that Rachel loved Caitlyn more than anybody before. That doesn't disappear. I don't think it ever will to be perfectly honest," Kurt said, looking Puck straight in the eye. The kitchen was silent, the only sound was Puck's sister moving around upstairs.

"What should I do?" Puck said, struggling to keep his voice even. Kurt sighed

"Rachel needs to understand that she can be open with her pain. Right now she's repressing it. That will make things worse. Be there. Tell her to eat. Stay with her until she sleeps. Make her feel safe," Kurt said with a shrug. Puck saw that Kurt was afraid for his friend. He nodded.

Kurt stood and with one last look at Puck, walked out to his car.

Puck rubbed his temples, stood and called for his sister to get ready to go.

* * *

><p>Rachel was dreaming. It was her and Caitlyn sitting in their cove watching the ocean. Rachel had had Caitlyn's head in her lap. Everything was perfect. The scene shifted. Caitlyn's head was still in her lap, but they were in the hospital room, on the bed. Rachel sat with her head resting back on the headboard, eyes rolled up to the ceiling to keep tears from falling as she listened to the doctor talk to Caitlyn's parents at the door. Caitlyn was half asleep and was listening to loud, pounding rock music through her headphones, something she said calmed her. Rachel felt Caityn twist her head to look up at her. It felt like they held each other's gaze forever. Eventually, Caitlyn gave a sweet, sad smile, then shut her eyes, breathing slowly as she drifted off to sleep.<p>

Once more the scene shifted and Rachel saw the coffin, the people in black, the hundreds of bright flowers. She woke to find hot tears coming down her cheeks. Her breathing was labored. She'd drifted in and out of fitful sleep, finally deciding to give up on sleeping. She didn't feel like. She got in the shower and stood under the scalding hot water, hoping it would erase the red rings around her tired eyes.

She pulled on a loose white dress that had tight three quarter inch sleeves. She put on her brown sandals and carefully fishtailed her hair. She was purposely taking her time. She'd gotten up at four. She carefully applied concealer under her eyes. To finish, she carefully clasped Caitlyn's necklace around her neck.

She made her way downstairs, to find her fathers eating breakfast. She smiled at them and made small talk. They didn't notice anything thankfully. She said goodbye and watched them drive off.

Tired of being inside of the house, she grabbed her bag and went to wait for Puck. She sat on the front porch swing with her eyes closed and her knees brought up to her chest. She closed her eyes, loving the sunshine that warmed her face and the breeze that came by.

Her thoughts shifted to the dream, and how it had ended. Rachel took a shaky deep breath, remembering the funeral. She shook her head slowly. She slowly and carefully breathed in an out, clearing her thoughts, until she wasn't thinking anything.

Puck pulled up to Rachel's house, Kurt's words echoing in his head. He shouldn't have kissed her. He ran his fingers through his mohawk, clenching his teeth. He stepped out of the car, determined to be there for her, only as she needed him. He walked up the front path and quietly went up the stairs.

His previous promise to himself left his brain as he saw her.

She sat on the swing long ways, with her legs stretched out. Her eyes were closed, and she had a slight smile on her pink lips. She looked gorgeous. Puck stood and then took a step toward her, making a small sound. He watched as Rachel opened her eyes and met his. Her faint smile grew into a real one.

"Hey," she said, swinging her feet to the deck so that Puck could sit beside her.

"You alright?" Puck asked, eyes carefully looking at her face.

"Yeah," she said. Puck was silent, waiting. Rachel let out a short huff.

"No," she said, looking away from Puck.

"Look at me," Puck said. She did. Puck put his arms around her, pulling her into his chest.

"I'm here," he whispered. He felt Rachel relax into him. She pulled back after a minute, looking calmer.

Puck took her hand and pulled her to his truck.

"What's this?" Rachel asked, referring to a white paper bag that was on her seat. Puck pulled out and once they were driving, smiled and said, "Breakfast." They came to a stop sign and he opened the bag and handed her a freshly-made raspberry croissant from the tiny bakery downtown that had just opened. It was still warm. He turned and saw Rachel smiling. Puck pulled out another one for himself. The woman who owned the place was an old college friend of his mom's. He'd double checked to be sure there weren't any eggs in it. The woman had told him to come back any time.

He ate with one hand and drove with the other, making sure that Rachel was eating hers too. She was. He was also happy to see she had some color to her cheeks. They pulled into the school parking lot. Rachel turned to Puck and let out a giggle. He had raspberry jelly in the corners of his mouth.

Puck looked up at the sound of her infectious laugh, he'd missed it so much. Rachel gestured to his mouth. Puck looked confused. Rachel reached to the bag and pulled out some napkins. She carefully leaned over and wiped the corners of his mouth. She felt his eyes on her face but she didn't meet his eyes. She leaned back.

"There. Thanks for breakfast," she said with a smile meeting his eyes finally.

"No problem," Puck said, stepping out of the truck. He walked around and opened her door for her. Rachel laughed as he made a sweeping gesture and held out a hand for to grab so she could step down.

"Why thank you, good sir," she said. Puck dipped his head and chuckled, grabbing her bag from her. They walked inside, ignoring

the admiring looks the two got from the rest of the student body.

"Are you still up for Satan's party tonight?" Puck asked as they stopped at his locker.

"Yeah. Might as well," Rachel said with a shrug. Puck shut his locker.

"We can leave whenever you want," he assured her grabbing her tiny hand. It was cold. He squeezed it. He saw the corners of Rachel's mouth curl up as they walked.

* * *

><p>Later that day in Glee, Mr. Shuester asked Rachel to help Beiste and Miss Pilsbury with sheet music for the musical, which was to be West Side Story. Rachel sat herself down and started correcting some of the hand written parts that had been added in, erasing almost everything.<p>

"Open mike day guys!" Mr. Shue said when everybody was settled. Everybody cheered

Rachel left to go to the copy room after a couple of performances, thinking. She'd tried to not dwell on last night with Puck. His big warm, guitar callused hands holding her face. How he'd opened up about his dad. Rachel knew that opening up wasn't something Puck did easily. He'd built to many walls, protecting himself with a tough guy exterior so that he wouldn't get hurt again. She sighed and finished up with her copying. She slowly walked back. She didn't know where she stood at all. Everyday she got closer and closer to him, but Caitlyn was still a part of her. Caitlyn was in her head, heart and dreams. And nightmares.

Rachel got to the glee door and peered inside when she heard the familiar sound of Puck on the guitar. He was playing the intro to a song Rachel had never heard. He was standing with the band, not really performing. Just making music. Then he stepped out and began to sing.

**Girl I know I don't know you**

**But your pretty little eyes so blue**

**Are pulling me in**

**Like the moon on your skin**

Puck closed his eyes, remembering how Rachel had laughed with him, lit by the dying fire. With her eyes glittering as she comforted him, when he felt she needed the comfort more.

**I'm so glad you trusted me**

**To slide up on this dusty seat**

**And let your hair down**

**Get out of town**

**Got the stars coming out over my hood**

**And all I know now is it's going good**

**You got your hands up**

**You're rocking in my truck**

**You got the radio on**

**You're singing every song**

**I'm set on cruise control**

**I'm slowly losing hold**

**Of everything I got**

**You're looking so damn hot**

Rachel was transfixed on Puck. He smiled as he sang, he was clearly a million miles away, thinking of the previous night.

**And I don't know what road we're on**

**Or where we've been**

**From staring at you girl**

A blush had crept on Rachel's cheeks. She remembered Puck looking at her as she talked. Hanging on each word. She'd turn to face him and he'd shamelessly keep looking at her face, as if she was beautiful and might break at any second.

**All I know is I don't want this night to end**

**Gonna cuss the morning when it comes**

**Cause I know that the rising sun**

**Ain't no good for me**

**Cause you'll have to leave**

Just then Puck turned and noticed Rachel, standing in the doorframe, clutching a large stack of papers she'd copied. He took in the red blush on her cheeks, wondering what it meant. What did she want from him?

**Gonna make the most of every mile**

**Do anything to make your smile**

**Land on my lips**

**Get drunk on your kiss**

**Clock on the dash says 3:35**

**There's plenty of gas and the night's still alive**

Puck took a step toward Rachel, the rest of the club forgotten, as he sang a song that brought both of them back to the previous night.

**You got your hands up**

**You're rocking in my truck**

**You got the radio on**

**You're singing every song**

**I'm set on cruise control**

**I'm slowly losing hold**

**Of everything I got**

**You're looking so damn hot**

**And I don't know what road we're on**

**Or where we've been**

**From staring at you girl**

**All I know is I don't want this night to end**

The song haunted Rachel. It described the previous night perfectly. Her thoughts betrayed her when they also compared the song to the beginning of her summer.

**You got your hands up**

**You're rocking in my truck**

**You got the radio on**

**You're singing every song**

**I'm set on cruise control**

**I'm slowly losing hold**

**Of everything I got**

**You're looking so damn hot**

**And I don't know what road we're on**

**Or where we've been**

**From staring at you girl**

**All I know is I don't want this night to end**

Puck shook his head.

**I don't want this night to end**

Rachel broke eye contact and looked down, shutting her eyes.

**No I don't want this night to end**

Puck took another step toward Rachel, only to have her take a step back after quickly setting down the stack of papers. She briskly walked to the bathroom. She felt sick and clammy. Puck's song had perfectly described the beginning of her summer.

Puck came out of the glee room only to see Rachel disappear into the girls bathroom. That'd never stopped him before. He only stopped when he heard somebody behind him.

"Puck, I think she needs at least a couple of minutes away from you," Santana said in a no nonsense voice.

Santana watched as Puck visibly deflated. She grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. She looked him in the eyes and nodded. Puck pulled back and sighed. He walked away, hands in pockets. Santana huffed. He was beating himself up about everything. She saw Finn and Mike come out into the hallway.

"Could you go and make sure Puck's alright?" she asked the two guys. They nodded and went in the direction Puck had gone off in. Santana took a breath and pushed open the bathroom door. She rushed to the bathroom stall after she heard Rachel puking. She held back the girl's hair and rubbed her back, talking with a soothing voice. Soon Rachel was done. Tears were streaming down her face. Santana sat her down. She got a wet paper towel and wiped off her face. She didn't react when she saw the dark circles under Rachel's eyes, knowing Rachel would only be embarrassed.

"Rachel?" she said. Rachel took a deep breath.

"You're good at this," Rachel said after a few moments of her getting her breathing under control.

"I've had a lot of practice," Santana replied evenly, not sure what to say to Rachel. She waited. Nothing came.

"Rachel what the hell is going on?" Santana said. She knew Rachel had a bad summer, but she had no idea what happened. Rachel looked up and met the Latina's dark eyes.

Rachel found herself, once again, telling the whole story, occasionally having to stop to control the sobbing. Santana didn't interrupt once. After Rachel was done, the two just sat, neither talking. Rachel just sat emotionally and mentally drained. Santana was trying to think of something to say, but couldn't. So she decided not to say anything. She stood and offered Rachel a hand. Rachel took it and stood.

"The bell's about to ring. Let's get your books," Santana said gently. Rachel stopped at her locker. She got her books and paused. She picked up her phone and showed the picture to Santana.

"That's her," Rachel said. Santana looked at the blond, who reminded her of Brittany, except the different eyes and hair.

"She's beautiful," Santana said, looking at Rachel, handing the phone back. Rachel sighed and put the phone back, not adding the word "was" because then there'd be no way she'd make it the rest of the day. She took a breath and followed Santana down the hallway. They had the same fifth hour class. Santana sat with Rachel. This caused quite a stir. Everybody remembered the time when Santana made it her personal mission to make Rachel's life hell. No more. Santana told off a jock who messed with Rachel towards to end of class.

* * *

><p>Rachel climbed into Brittany's car at the end of the day. Brittany was driving and Santana was in the passenger seat. Santana refused to let Rachel go home alone. Rachel sat, thinking of Puck. She needed to talk to him. Little did she know that Santana was texting Puck in the front seat, out of Rachel's sight.<p>

**Puck: U've got her right?**

**Santana: Course. I think she'll be ready to talk to u 2nite**

**Puck: good. I really messed up with that song...**

**Santana: no u didnt, both of u need to talk about this**

**Puck: ur right. Oh and thanks 4 being there 4 her**

**Santana: lets just say we understand each other**

**Puck: alright, cu tonight**

Santana sighed and turned. Rachel looked exhausted. She checked her watch. It was only three-thirty. The party didn't even start until eight.

"Rachel do you want to take a nap at my house while Brit and I set up?" Santana said. She was surprised when a tiny smile came on Rachel's face.

"Yes. Thanks," Rachel said, sounding genuinely thankful. Santana returned the smile and faced forward, surprised by how good it felt to be Rachel's friend.

Rachel's eyes widened as she got to Santana's huge house. She followed Brittany and Santana in, eyes widening at the beautiful house. She saw that all the stuff was laid out, waiting to be set up.

"Brit, take Rachel to my room," Santana called, after disappearing through a doorway.

"Come on," Brittany said, grabbing Rachel's stuff and putting it against the wall.

Rachel couldn't help but smile as Brittany wrapped her up like a burrito on Santana's bed in a fuzzy blanket.

"Thank you Brittany," Rachel said with a smile. Brittany smiled, kissed Rachel's forehead and skipped out of the room. Rachel pulled her phone out of her pockets, put in her headphones, and fell asleep listening to Luke Bryan.

* * *

><p>Rachel felt herself being gently shaken awake.<p>

"Hey Rachel," Santana said, smiling. Rachel sat up.

"What time is it," Rachel asked sleepily.

"Seven," came a reply from the closet. Rachel fully opened her eyes. Santana looked awesome in a dark purple dress with pretty black lace covering it.

"You look amazing," Rachel said. Santana shook her head.

"And now it's your turn. You can borrow something," Santana said, leafing through her closet. After a good two minutes, in which Santana had been thinking quietly out loud. She turned and held out a sparkly black dress. It was short but not tight at all. Santana motioned for Rachel to put it on. Santana turned to grab shoes and give Rachel privacy. When she turned she saw Rachel before she got the dress on all of the way. She turned away again. Rachel was so thin. She arranged her face in a smile and turned with a pair of black patent wedges that were too small for her, but too cute to get rid of.

"Here," she said to Rachel. Rachel smiled and put them on. Everything fit well.

"Just let your hair out and you're great," Santana said with a wink and a smile. Rachel took out her fishtail and shook out her waves. Santana nodded her approval.

"You should try some of my mom's soup. She made it for tonight before she and dad left for some dentist conference in California," Santana said, as the two made their way down into the kitchen. She hovered over Rachel, making sure the girl ate something.

Rachel found herself actually enjoying herself at the party. The whole house was full of people. She found herself looking for Puck, but didn't find him. Santana caught up with her eventually.

"You alright?" Santana asked. Rachel nodded with a half-hearted attempt at a smile. Santana had had a couple beers so she wasn't as observant as she'd normally be. She walked off, satisfied. Rachel watched her go. Rachel thought maybe alcohol would help. Not a ton, but enough to clear her head. She didn't like beer, but she grabbed one and took a swig.

Brittany was having so much fun. Santana had left her in the middle of the dance floor, so she spun around, continuing her dancing, scoping for a partner. She saw Rachel and moved to pull the tiny brunette from the edge of the floor.

"Dance with me," Brittany said. Rachel smiled and nodded. The DJ started a slower melodic beat. Brittany put her hands on the smaller girl's hips and led. Both had taken ballroom lessons and knew how to move with a partner. Everybody cleared around them to watch. The girl's were light-footed and got closer. Brittany laughed at how much fun she was having. Brittany laughed as the two became more in sync. Soon the song ended. Brittany jumped up and down excitedly. The music turned into fast, loud Dubstep and everybody proceeded to moshpit all around Brittany and Rachel. Only one person noticed that the small diva had tears in the corner of her eyes, clenched fists that she wrapped around her stomach. It was really loud. Puck pushed his way through the group and once again, arm firmly around her waist, pulled her out and led her upstairs. He pulled her into a study that had books lining the walls and huge brown leather couches. He sat her down, keeping his arms around her, pulling her closer.

"It was Brittany wasn't it?" Puck asked gently. Rachel nodded. Brittany had laughed like Caitlyn used too.

"Sorry I got here late, Mom didn't get home till late from work so I couldn't leave my sister," Puck said sheepishly. "Were you drinking?"

"I had enough to be upset about something as small as a laugh," Rachel said with a sigh. Puck squeezed her shoulder gently.

"Wanna leave?" Puck asked after they sat in silence for a few moments. Rachel shook her head no.

"Not with you here. It's easier," Rachel said, looking at the floor. Puck studied her face.

"I'm sorry about the song... and for kissing you last night," Puck said, feeling like now was the time to talk about this.

"Puck... I wasn't upset today because of your song, or the kiss," Rachel said, turning to face him. Sh paused, choosing her words.

"I had a really bad dream last night. I was freaked. Your song today kind of... reiterated the best parts of my summer. Being with you makes everything so much easier. Kissing you and... touching you makes it easier. You're so warm and strong and amazing that the only thing that can hurt me is my memory and I'm still learning to deal. I'm sorry about... I guess everything," she said, finishing. Puck was taken aback. That was the longest string of words he'd heard since she'd come back to Lima. Puck pulled her closer, hugging her to his chest.

"Never be afraid to tell me anything okay?" Puck whispered in her ear. He felt Rachel nod.

* * *

><p>Santana yawned as she walked through her house. All in all, it had been her best party to date. Most of the glee kids were staying the night and were all over her house. She was trying to take stock of where everybody was. She peered into the library and smirked. Puck and Rachel were asleep on the big sofas. Obviously they'd solved their problems. Rachel was barely visible wrapped in Puck's big arms with her head buried in his chest. Santana threw a blanket on them and turned out the lights, shaking her head. Rachel was in very good hands.<p> 


	8. Warning Sign

**HELLO! I have been working on this slowly but surely... AND HERE IT IS! Tell me what you think. **

**Song: Warning Sign by Coldplay**

* * *

><p>Warning Sign<p>

Rachel slowly opened her eyes. For a second she didn't remember where she was. Then it all came back, the party, the dance with Brittany, coming up with Puck, talking and then falling asleep. Rachel sighed evenly, feeling better than she had in a long time. She enjoyed the warmth from Puck, and the golden light coming through the tall windows all around the library. She laid there, half asleep, when she heard a loud laugh from somewhere else in the house. She opened her eyes and saw that Puck had too.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," she said back, smiling.

"Bad dreams?" he asked, studying her face. He watched as her eyes widened happily.

"No," she whispered. Puck smiled. She looked gorgeous with the sun coming through, making her brown eyes glow. She buried her face in his chest, yawning. Puck gave himself a mental pat on the back. She no longer had circles under her eyes. They heard more voices and laughing downstairs.

"Wanna go join them?" Puck asked. Rachel pushed herself up a little bit, rubbing her still sleep-filled eyes. She bit her lip, looking at the big clock on the wall. Then she looked down at Puck, who was looking up at her, waiting for an answer. Their legs were tangled, bodies close. But Puck had never done anything last night to suggest wanting more. This was so unlike the old Puck.

"What are you thinking?" Puck asked, raising an eyebrow, she was looking at him, but he could see thoughts behind her eyes.

Out of nowhere, Rachel leaned down and kissed Puck. It was tentative and sweet. She pulled back, their noses touching. Both of them smiled slightly, then Rachel leaned down again, kissing him deeper.

* * *

><p>Santana looked up as Rachel and Puck entered the kitchen, where the glee clubbers were all in the process of making a breakfast feast. Both were smiling. Rachel looked fantastic. She smiled at Santana and went to help Brittany with making coffee. Puck sat up on a bar stool across from where Santana was cutting up fruit.<p>

"So," Santana said, raising an eyebrow expectantly.

"So," Puck replied, snagging a piece of pineapple from the cutting board.

"Anything you'd like to say?" Santana said, big sharp knife questionably poised.

"Alright chill," Puck said with a chuckle, "She kissed me."

"That's it?"

"What else was supposed to happen?" Puck asked. Santana raised her eyebrow once more, saying nothing, transferring her fruit into a bowl.

"Satan. Don't go there," Puck said lightly with another chuckle, but he looked in her eyes, and Santana saw the seriousness there that he had gotten this year staring firmly back at her. She gave him an approving nod and walked over to put her fruit on the table.

* * *

><p>Rachel watched as Puck drove off. She walked in, changed into a comfortable Tshirt and sweatpants. She did laundry and then worked on her essay for English and her Chem assignment. Soon her brain was filled with equations, atomic numbers and frequencies, nothing sad entering her thoughts.<p>

Rachel woke to the sound of the doorbell. She checked the clock. It was nine. She sighed and placed the textbook that she had had on her chest as she'd drifted off. She padded to the door and opened it. Her heart dropped in her chest as she did. Lisa. Flanked by a young guy and an older man.

"Hi Rach," Lisa said with a small sympathetic smile, "this is..." She paused, "Caitlyn's brother and grandpa."

Rachel had nodded, and her eyes had locked on the eyes of Caitlyn's brother. Bright green eyes looked at her curiously.

Lisa had rung the doorbell, unsure what to expect. She hadn't heard from Rachel in months, not since... The door opened. Her niece stood there. She watched as Rachel looked at each of them in turn, ending with Nate, latching onto his eyes. Caitlyn's eyes. They stood for an awkward moment of silence. Rachel came to herself, looking down as she stepped aside.

"Come in," she said softly. The three stepped inside, each having seen the watering eyes of Rachel, who was blinking to keep tears from falling.

"It's nice to meet you, little lady," Mr. Bell, Caitlyn's grandfather from her mother's side said, reaching out a big warm calloused hand. Rachel gave a small sad smile at the charming man and shook his hand.

"Mr. Bell?" She said, raising an eyebrow in askance.

"You can call me Joe. Mr. Bell was my father." Rachel nodded, liking the man immediately, with his warm twinkling eyes.

Rachel turned to Nate.

"Hi," she said, timidly meeting his eyes once again and once again felt a churning ache in the pit of her stomach.

"Should I start wearing sunglasses indoors?" He asked gently and good naturedly, with a small smile.

"Oh no... so-sorry," Rachel stuttered, looking down again, cursing herself for being so emotional. She looked up at Lisa out of the corner of her eye. Lisa stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist. Rachel put her arms around her aunts neck and breathed in the smell of her aunt.

"I love you," Lisa whispered.

"Love you too," Rachel murmured, pulling back.

"I'll um... get the guest bedrooms ready for you guys," Rachel said, briskly walking out of the room.

"That's the ray of sunshine that Caitlyn wouldn't stop talking about on Skype?" Nate said to Lisa.

"She was," Lisa whispered. She had hoped that Rachel had begun coping. Rachel looked so tired. When they'd hugged she'd felt thinner. She's missed her niece, who needed her more than ever now.

* * *

><p>Rachel turned over in her bed for the thousandth time trying to get into a position where sleep could take her. No such luck. She turned over again. Caitlyn's brother's eyes kept flashing into her brain. Then the face would change to Caitlyn. She abruptly stood up, not letting her brain go down that line of thinking. She regretted this, reaching out to steady herself, as a wave of dizziness washed over her from moving too fast. She grabbed her phone from her nightstand, sinking down to sit on her bed.<p>

**Rachel: Caitlyn's brother and grandpa are here with Lisa**

She waited, dropping her phone on the bed and rubbing her temples.

**Puck: And are you okay?**

**Rachel: I'll get back to you on that. **

**Puck: Just breathe Rach, theyre here 4 u, theyre prolly worried about u**

**Rachel: Yes but... her brother has her eyes**

**Puck: Again, breathe. You are fine, and everything is okay. **

Rachel sighed.

**Rachel: I know, I'm prolly making too big of a deal bout this... I'm sorry if i woke u**

**Puck: It's okay. I'll get you in the morning and we can talk then, okay?**

**Rachel: Thank u noah**

**Puck: Anytime, nite rach :) stay strong**

Rachel let out another big breath. She stood and quietly padded out of her room.

She made her way downstairs, to get some water, as she always did when she was sad.

"You can't sleep either," a rough voice said behind her. Rachel whirled, stopping just in time to not spill her water. It was Caitlyn's grandpa. He sat in an armchair in the living room just off the kitchen, dimly lit by a reading lamp, a box on his lap.

"No," Rachel said after a moment, walking over and sinking into a chair across from him. Sinking down, she pulled her knees up to her chest.

"Me either. You see, I have a dilemma."

"And what would that be?" Rachel asked with a small smile. She really liked this man. He was tall and had laugh lines around his eyes. He was still well built for somebody of his age, having the look of a man who had worked hard for his whole life. He held up a hand, asking for a moment to think. He stroked his chin and was deep in thought. Minutes later he looked back to Rachel.

"I don't know how to approach you. I loved my granddaughter. I know that you did as well. I saw you at the funeral you know. And I know that you didn't see anybody at the funeral. Not really. You were gone the second she was. And I understand that. My wife died ten years ago of cancer. I know that a piece of you goes with them and there isn't anything you can do to get that piece back. But we grow. We regenerate what is gone and fill it. There's still a crack... a scar. But we get better. I don't want to be the cause of a new rift," the man said slowly, watching as tears built up in the dark haired girl's eyes. Rachel shut her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Why would you cause a new rift?"

"See this box?" he said, gesturing to the box in his lap, "She left it for you."

* * *

><p>Puck woke up the next morning and checked his phone again. He vaguely remembered the texts from Rachel, but they were real. He saw there was a new one for him.<p>

**Rachel: I have a ride. See u later **

He shrugged and went about his morning, getting his sister ready and taking her and her friends to kindergarden. He got to school and didn't spot Rachel. He checked her favorite haunts, the auditorium, the glee room, the library. She wasn't to be found. The warning bell rang and Puck gave up, going to class. But nobody had seen her. By the end of the day he was beyond worried. He had just reached his truck when his phone vibrated in his pocket, it was beginning to rain hard.

**Rachel: I'm at ur spot**

He thought and then it hit him. It was the place where they'd had the bonfire. He jumped in his truck and drove like a madman.

He reached the spot and through the rain, he spotted Rachel's dad's big Suburban. He walked up, hearing her unlock it from the inside. He opened the door.

"Oh Rachel," he said, climbing inside gingerly. The backseat was huge and Rachel looked so small on the far side of the car seat. She was curled into herself, eyes closed, against the window. She wore a big sweatshirt and leggings. She opened her eyes and looked at him. She had the darkest circles under her eyes and they were red and irritated. He looked around. A sketch book was on the seat, with pictures spilling out of it. The top one was a sketch of a girl playing in the water on a beach, obviously Rachel. It had I love you, written in big loopy, decorative script. From the looks there were more. Rachel's laptop was open a video of Caitlyn obviously on it. Other CDs littered the floor in their cases. Puck gingerly shut the laptop and carefully arranged the sketches so they were all arranged neatly within. He slid across the seat, closing the door behind him. He encircled his arms around Rachel. She was still. He leaned back, looking into her eyes.

"Where did you get this stuff?"

"Her grandpa. Caitlyn made videos everyday of the summer, about me mostly, and life, and beauty and... us," her voice breaking on the last word, more tears falling, "and she had so many sketches and pictures," she said, nodding to a box in the front seat that said, FOR RACHEL in big letters. Puck held her tighter to his chest. He felt it was for nothing though. She didn't say anything else. Wrapped up in her thoughts. They sat like that for a while.

"Did you sleep last night?" Rachel shook her head no, looking out the window at the pouring rain, "Have you eaten today?" He watched as she shook her head no, frustration filling him, but he didn't show it. Coaxing her to drive home was no easy task. They dropped off Rachel's dads car and Puck brought her to his own house. His mother and sister were at a Daisy Scout meeting and wouldn't be back for several hours.

Rachel watched as Puck made fruit pizza, something that the two of them ha eaten all the time as a kid. Watching the big muscular football player carefully and precisely arrange the chopped fruit didn't fail to bring a smile to her unusually pale face. They dug in, Puck making sure that she ate. Then he led her to the couch and handed her the controls, something that was huge for him, someone who loved having the remote. She found West Side Story and began watching it. Puck watched intently, even when she fell asleep on his shoulder. He knew the musical was coming up, and he though he'd try out for Bernardo, sure he got killed, but he seemed like a cool guy.

His mother came in just as the credits were rolling. She took in the scene, looking confused, Puck gently layed Rachel's head down on a pillow and pulled a blanket over her. He had a whispered conversation with his mother. She nodded when he asked if Rachel could stay. She nodded and shushed Puck's sister, taking her back out to Breadstix, so the house would e quiet. Puck ate a sandwhich, starting his homework, having to refocus quite often since his mind kept going back to Rachel.

* * *

><p>He woke in the chair next to the couch that had been previously occupied by Rachel, The Scarlet Letter still on his lap. He stood an rubbed his eyes. He heard noise upstairs and followed it. He peered in his room. Rachel sat on the bed holding his guitar, which was a little big for her. She was playing a few chords, she still wasn't that skilled, partly because her hands were so tiny. Then she began to sing.<p>

**A warning sign**

**I missed the good part, then I realised**

**I started looking and the bubble burst**

She looked up and saw him.

**I started looking for excuses **

**Come on in**

She motioned him inside with her head.

**I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in**

**I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones**

**That I started looking for a warning sign**

She looked down, singing to a girl that could no longer listen.

**When the truth is, I miss you**

**Yeah the truth is, that I miss you so**

**A warning sign**

**It came back to haunt me, and I realised**

**That you were an island and I passed you by**

**And you were an island to discover**

**Come on in**

**I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in**

**I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones**

**That I started looking for a warning sign**

**When the truth is, I miss you**

**Yeah the truth is, that I miss you so**

Rachel shut her eyes tight.

**And I'm tired, I should not have let you go**

**Oooooooo**

She looked so tired, and so sad, Puck stepped forward, took the guitar and pulled her close to his chest. She finished the song sweetly.

**So I crawl back into your open arms**

**Yes I crawl back into your open arms**

**And I crawl back into your open arms**

**Yes I crawl back into your open arms.**


	9. Die Alone

**Why hello there! LONG TIME NO WRITE! **

**Song:  
>Die Alone by Ingrid Michaelson<strong>

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Die Alone

Puck opened his eyes as his alarm went off. He sighed, and rolled out of bed. He looked at the clock. 4:30. He put clothes on, stretched, and was out the door for a run. This was one of the best parts of his day. Feet pounding on the pavement. He felt powerful. After this, he came home and did an ab workout with his usual pushups. He jumped in the shower, he ran his day through his head. He had finished his homework last night. So he was good there. He had football practice after school, then a glee rehearsal for Sectionals. As he finished with his shower, he started thinking about Rachel. They hadn't spoken since he'd dropped her off at her house after she'd slept over at his house. He texted her a bunch, asking if she was alright, or if she wanted to hang out, and he always got a short response saying she couldn't and that she was fine. He knew that was a lie. She was the exact opposite of fine. He'd talked to his mother, who had persuaded him to not go break down her door and kiss her until she couldn't remember her name. He rolled his eyes at himself as he pulled on his jeans. He just wanted to be there for her, but he didn't know how to get close without hurting her more.

He finished and checked the clock. It was six. He went downstairs and made coffee and then, hearing his mom move around upstairs, breakfast for his mom. She came down looking tired. She had worked a late shift at her second job as a waitress. Puck handed her a brown paper bag and a thermos full of coffee. She kissed his cheek, grabbed the food and her purse, and was off to go back to her other job as a dental assistant.

Just as Puck was wondering when the Berry men would get back to him about a possible job so that maybe his mother could stick to just one job, the clock chimed that it was six thirty. He ran upstairs and woke his sister. She smiled sleepily at her big brother.

"Noah, can I wear my blue dress today?" she asked, smiling.  
>"Yeah, Jules," he said. He helped her get dressed, and then steered her to breakfast, watching the time. While she ate he got his books together.<p>

She cleaned up after herself, something Puck was very proud of. He came up behind her and slung her over his shoulder. She let out a high-pitched squeal followed by a fit of giggles. His sister's laugh was one of his favorite sounds in the world. This train of thought brought his brain to think of the sound of a certain girl's voice. Distracted, he brought Julia out to his truck and buckled her in the back seat. She pulled out her Barbies from her backpack and proceeded to marry three couples of Kens and Barbies at once. He laughed silently, wishing he could make Rachel as happy as his sister made him.

* * *

><p><em>Rachel woke to the sound of a seagull. She slowly opened her eyes, the night coming flooding back. She shut her eyes as the memory passed over her. She opened her eyes again, thinking of nothing but the warmth and beauty of Caitlyn. She'd been so gentle and perfect, doing everything right. Rachel sighed contently. She slowly sat up, feeling like all of her senses were on fire. Everything was sharp. The sand felt smooth and satiny. The sky was starting to become pink and she knew sunrise wasn't far away. She looked down and her breath was taken away for what felt the hundredth time since she'd met Caitlyn. Caitlyn was lying on her back, smiling in her sleep. Rachel stood, unable to keep a smile off of her own face. She stretched out her tight muscles from sleeping on the sand. She bounced in place, unable to shake off the energy. In a moment of reckless abandon, she ran into the ocean, naked, and didn't care one bit. <em>

_Caitlyn had woken up and had joined her. The two made their way back to Lisa's, who had thankfully decided to not mention the night before, simply going into her studio. The girls were up in Rachel's room. Caitlyn asked Rachel to sing for her. Rachel looked up at Caitlyn, who was glowing with happiness. _

"_I know you've got something on your pretty little mind," Caitlyn said quietly. Rachel nodded, putting her iPod on the speaker. The music started and she joined Caitlyn on the bed. _

_**I woke up this morning with a funny taste in my head.**__**  
><strong>__**Spackled some butter over my whole grain bread.**__**  
><strong>__**Something tastes different, maybe it's my tongue.**__**  
><strong>_

_Rachel placed a hand on Caitlyn's tan shoulder, giving it an affectionate squeeze._

_**Something tastes different, suddenly I'm not so young.**_

_She ran over and looked at herself in the mirror, a thoughtful expression on her face._

_**I'm just a stranger, even to myself.**__**  
><strong>__**A re-arranger of the proverbial bookshelf.**__**  
><strong>__**Don't be a fool girl, tell her you love her.**__**  
><strong>__**Don't be a fool girl, you're not above her.**_

_**I never thought I could love anyone but myself.**__**  
><strong>_

_She turned and looked at Caitlyn._

_**Now I know I can't love anyone but you.**__**  
><strong>__**You make me think that maybe I won't die alone.**__**  
><strong>__**Maybe I won't die alone.**_

_She slowly walked to Caitlyn, continuing the song._

_**Kiss the boys as they walk by, call me their baby.**__**  
><strong>__**But little do they know, I'm just a maybe.**__**  
><strong>__**Maybe my baby will be the one to leave me sore.**_

_Rachel sang the next part and placed a quick kiss on Caitlyn's cheek._

_**Maybe my baby will settle the score.**_

_**I never thought I could love anyone but myself.**__**  
><strong>__**Now I know I can't love anyone but you.**__**  
><strong>__**You make me think that maybe I won't die alone.**__**  
><strong>__**Maybe I won't die alone.**__**  
><strong>_

_She fell back on the bed, laying flat, placing her hands over her face._

_**What have I become?**__**  
><strong>__**Something soft and really quite dumb.**__**  
><strong>__**Because I've fallen, oh, 'cuz I've fall-fallen, oh 'cuz I've fall-fall-fallen**__**  
><strong>__**So far away from the place where I started from.**_

_She sat up and took both of Caitlyn's hands, looking her straight in the eyes._

_**I never thought I could love anyone.**__**  
><strong>__**I never thought I could love anyone.**__**  
><strong>__**I never thought I could love anyone,**__**  
><strong>__**But you, but you, but you, but you, but you**__**  
><strong>__**But you make me think that maybe I won't die alone.**__**  
><strong>__**Maybe I won't die alone.**_

_"Rachel, I think you're the last person who would ever die alone," Caitlyn said earnestly. Rachel smiled, thinking for a moment._

_ "Thank you. But back home all the relationships I've taken part in haven't worked out well. After each one I built a wall of sorts. I learned to protect my heart. Then I come here, and you beat it all down. And I love you. I love you so much," Rachel said, meaning every word. Caitlyn smiled._

_ "I love you too, you silly, beautiful, dramatic star," Caitlyn said sweetly, leaning forward and capturing Rachel's lips in a kiss._

Rachel woke with a start. She sat up, pushing the laptop off of her chest. She'd fallen asleep listening to a mix CD Caitlyn had put in the box. She checked the clock. It was five in the morning. She sighed, wishing she could actually start sleeping for extended periods of time. She didn't like waking up this early. But her subconscious had other ideas.

She sighed and sat up, already feeling a headache coming on. She rubbed her temples and then stretched. With more effort than should have been necessary, she put her legs over the side and stood up. She yawned and went to wash her face and brush her teeth. Then she jumped in the shower. She went downstairs to make herself some tea. And bumped into Aunt Lisa.

Aunt Lisa, Joe, and Nate, had all been there for three days. Today was Tuesday. After Joe had given Rachel Caitlyn's box, he had left her alone. Whenever she looked at him he sent her a sympathetic glance. Nate was hardly ever there. He came home late at night and left early in the morning. When Aunt Lisa asked him where he went, he nonchalantly said that he had friends he was visiting. This only confused Rachel. Why would he have friends in Lima of all places, and why did he even come in the first place. She couldn't help but feel like she had disappointed him, but he was never around to talk to. Looking at him was painful enough.

Aunt Lisa had taken it upon herself to cook for an army, stocking the refrigerator with tons of food, believing Rachel was too thin.

Rachel smiled at Lisa as she walked into the kitchen.

"How are you sweetheart?" Lisa asked, watching her niece fill a teakettle with water to put on the stove.

"I'm alright," Rachel lied. She could feel the skeptical look on Lisa's face behind her.

"Alright. I'm not. I had a beautiful dream," Rachel said slowly, turning to face her aunt.

They held each other's eyes and then Lisa opened her arms for a hug. Rachel fell into them, breathing in her aunts now familiar smell. She smelled like the ocean. This brought back memories. She felt tears in the corner of her eyes and let out an shaky breath.

"Lisa, I miss her so much," she breathed.

"I know. I know," Lisa said, rubbing circles onto Rachel's back.

"I know it sounds silly, but my heart physically hurts," Rachel said, voice breaking, looking at the ground.

"That's not silly, honey," Lisa said. She stepped back and grabbed a tissue. She dabbed at Rachel's eyes and then dropped a kiss on her forehead.

"I brought you some things from home," Lisa said, turning off the burner behind Rachel and picking up a shopping bag. She pulled out a zip lock bag full of different kinds of tea. She felt her heart give a squeeze when this actually got a smile out of Rachel.

"Thank you," Rachel said. She peered in the bag and laughed, seeing a lot of the candy and other foods that she had loved when she'd visited.

"I also brought you some clothes!" Lisa said, pointing to some boxes on the kitchen table.

"Oh Aunt Lisa, you didn't have to bring me anything," Rachel said, putting some honey in her tea. She took a sip, loving how it made her warm. She was constantly cold even though it was still technically summer.

"Oh let me dote on you," Lisa said happily. She was so happy that she and Rachel were finally talking after three days of one-sided small talk. They heard Joe call out that he was going for a walk. Through the window, Rachel watched the man contentedly stroll off. All of the sudden, Nate came down the stairs with his car keys. Aunt Lisa stopped him.

"Nate, would you take Rachel to school today? She was having some car trouble." Both looked at the woman who held their gazes.

"Yeah sure," Nate said, pulling out his phone and looking impatient. Lisa rolled her eyes at him and winked at Rachel. Rachel gave her aunt a weak smile. But she knew that she did need to talk to Nate before he left, at least once.

"Go get dressed honey," Lisa said, handing her one of the thin boxes. Rachel went upstairs, knowing she should hurry. She opened the box and smiled. She pulled out a gorgeous skirt. It was coral and light blue Aztec pattern and it was slightly shimmery. She pulled it on. Then she pulled on a thin white button down, tucked it in loosely and rolled the sleeves to just below her elbows. She put on her brown sandals and put her hair in a loose side braid. She looked in the mirror and quickly put on a little mascara. She hadn't put effort into her appearance for a while, so this felt good.

She went down the stairs and stopped, hearing Lisa and Nate talking.

"Do I have to? You know as well as I that she doesn't have car trouble."  
>"You came here to meet the girl that meant the world to your sister, and just because she's not what you expected doesn't mean that you can completely ignore her. She dies a little every time she looks at you because you're a living, breathing reminder of what she lost. Give the girl a little credit," Lisa pleaded. Rachel heard him sigh and give his assent. She waited for a couple seconds, and then walked in.<p>

"Ready?" she said, meeting Nate's eyes for the first time since they'd met. She'd steeled herself and even though her stomach gave a small lurch at his eyes, her face stayed calm. He gave her a nod and turned to walk out the door.

"Honey, you look beautiful, have a good day!" Lisa said. Rachel smiled at her and hurried out the door behind Nate.

This was the first time that she was put together in front of him. He'd only seen her in sweats and t-shirts so far. She followed him and almost ran back in the house when she saw his dark green Jeep. It had been Caitlyn's. She got in, clenching her teeth.

"Are you alright?" Nate asked, surprising Rachel with his gentle tone. She looked at him, raising her eyebrows. He let a humorless chuckle and pulled out. They drove in silence for a few minutes. Rachel looked over at him. He was the male version of Caitlyn. He was tall, blond, athletic, and tan.

"Do I have something on my face?" he said, having noticed her staring.

"No. But I have a question," Rachel said looking at her hands in her lap.

"Shoot."

"Okay. Why don't you like me?" she said. He let out a laugh, this one actually real.

"It's not a matter of liking you."

"Then what is it a matter of?" Rachel asked. He glanced over at her and abruptly pulled over, getting out of the car and walking into the trees. Rachel followed him uncertainly. He stopped, facing the other direction. He stared ahead for a moment. He didn't look at her as he began to talk.

"The fact that you were the love of my sister's life. The fact that some of my sister's last words to me were instructions for me to take care of you. To make sure that you went on with your life and were happy. That you became a big Broadway star. And then I come here and you're a total mess. That you haven't really recovered at all from Caitlyn's death. That even looking me in the eyes makes your stomach hurt. I heard you the other night, throwing up the dinner that Lisa made. You're making yourself sick you're so sad. How could _I_ help _you_? How the hell am I supposed to fix your mess of a life when mine is just as bad. All of my friends back at school wonder what my fucking problem is, because all I do is eat, sleep, and work out. The thing is, that's all I can do. Because my sister is dead. The girl that would Skype me every single night whether I wanted to talk to her or not, and keep bothering me until we had a conversation that she deemed acceptable. The girl that I taught how to throw like a guy and not like a girl. The girl that I gave piggy back rides. The girl that I pulled an all-nighter for, with a final the next day, to talk because she was questioning her sexuality. The girl that I grew up with. The girl that taught me how to be a man."

"How do I fix you when I'm broken?" Nate said, utterly defeated by the end. Rachel stood, speechless. He looked over and saw tears streaming down her face.

"Don't…" he whispered. He looked at the ground, utterly unsure of what to do. He walked towards her. She had turned away slightly, holding her head in her hands, blinking back tears that wouldn't stop.

Rachel all of the sudden felt arms go around her middle in an awkward hug, since her arms were up. She put her arms around his neck, hugging him, going on her tiptoes.

"Goddammit you smell like her," Rachel mumbled. Both of them chuckled, somewhat hysterically. Rachel inhaled, letting the smell help her, instead of hurting her.

Neither knew how long they stayed that way. Eventually Rachel said, "I need to get to school." He let go and backed off. Rachel gave him a small smile. He returned it and they started off for the car.

* * *

><p>Puck was in line for lunch when he felt a small tap on his shoulder. He turned and felt a smile come to his face.<p>

"Hey," he said.  
>"Hey," she repeated.<br>"Here, one sec," he said, paying for his food quickly. He then put a hand on the small of her back and guided her to an empty table.

They sat facing each other.

"How are you?" he asked. She looked better.

"Better," she said, "I've talked to both Lisa and Nate and it has really been good."

"I'm glad," Puck said.

"I'm really sorry about hanging out though. It just felt awkward having somebody over with those three at my house and then I didn't want to just leave," Rachel said sincerely. Puck nodded.

"I was wondering if I could come play with Julia soon?" Rachel said, stealing a tortilla chip from Puck's nachos and eating it.

"Yeah. Come tonight," Puck said. He was ecstatic seeing Rachel like this. She still had dark circles under her eyes and looked dead tired, but she looked a little happier.

"Okay, I'll come after dinner," Rachel promised with a sweet smile. She and Puck chatted about football while he finished his lunch. She wouldn't eat anything else, but Puck knew they had to take things slow. They got up and walked out. He grabbed her hand and they walked to the other side of school together, just talking.

Puck let himself start to hope that everything might be alright.

* * *

><p><strong>Please please please tell me what you think about this! <strong> 

**PS. search my username as a tag on tumblr (don't forget the extra 'L') to see any pictures that go along with the story, Rachel's outfit should be up.**

**REVIEW LIKE THE WIND!**


End file.
